fat runners blog

Here we go...

2011-08-30T07:48:00.001-07:00

I am so super excited. Tomorrow starts the new regimen of running. We, as a family are getting up before Cris leaves for work at 7:15 am to have family prayer together and then he is off and so are we. Hannah will be in the stroller but the rest by my side...Hahaha, Blake will most likely be far ahead of all of us!

I am actually babysitting for a little while so I have one extra right now which is fun! He will be in the stroller with Hannah and they can talk and play together. My life right now is high stress. I seem to be dealing with it extraordinarily well. We are taking Blake to a Behavioral therapist today to see if we need to do other things to help him calm and be healthy. With his high energy, and thrust at life it is hard for me to find time and energy to do much else than chase. I found that by putting him in front of the computer with movies I can clean and work but I dont want a child who is dormant and I dont want ANY of my babies to end up at 39 years old looking down the barrel of a running revolver! Yes, at this point in the plan I see it as a gun shot to my head! Because life is...well, life, adding one more thing is difficult. A young man mentioned in a talk he gave on Sunday at church that we sometimes think we can "take" time to do certain things. He said that we have no right to be "taking" time at all. God is the only one who can make, take , give or remove time from us! We must shuffle our life and rearrange and "find" time in the time given to do all the BEST things in life. My life is filled with good things, some of them are even the better things in life but I need to prioritize in such a way as to fill my life with only the BEST things. Good, better, BEST!

As I sit here writing this, I hear someone spilling a liquid on a floor. I hear Blake "teaching" someone how to make a noise Im unfamiliar with. And Hannah is behind me eating off the floor....I vacuumed a few days ago...Yickes! So I have much more to say but for now it must be farewell. Wish me luck tomorrow morning...maybe I will even see a couple of you out there with me???????? :)

Back in the saddle AGAIN!

2011-08-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

Here I am again, in the place I hate the most. The beginning! I took the kids to the park and ended up in the wrong place and taking what I have now termed "suicide hill". I pushed Hannah up the hill with Becca holding on for dear life. At the top I said to myself, "Self- you have just gone past the first part of running that you hate so much....the out of breath part!" So I made the decision to start again on my path to a better me.

Since my last post I ran another 1/2 marathon, took on the hardship of IVF, had success which means pregnancy, had a rough time, was on bed rest and the last 2 weeks before I delivered her I was hospitalized. She was delivered 9 weeks early and spent the next 5 months in the hospital. Became good friends with wonderful people. Brought my little Hanni home, went over the Dr's heads and got her big and healthy on my own. Now that those trials are behind us it is time for me to start over, it seems, on my life goal of health.

So, come with me, join me, watch me, listen to me complain and boast. This is sure to be a once in a lifetime experience for us all!!!!

Tomorrow morning is day one of - lets see how far a fat runner who hasnt run in almost 2yrs can run-many days to come!

2009-03-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

wow, it is so beautiful here and the conditions couldn't be better for running. I had stay in bed pain today so I did not get the chance to run but bright and early tomorrow morning I am out there. I started weight watchers today and it is so hard to start off. I forgot and few times and found a few indulgences were harder to give up. I passed on cookies and I passed on ice cream but the pepsi was more than I could take and I partook!!!! AHHH, it was soooooooo nice!
Ok, I will work hard at that one. I made a soup or dinner that was delicious. Lentils, split peas and chicken broth. I added a little alphabet pasta for the children but other than that it was so healthy and so good.
So I had a piece of whole wheat toast
2 pieces of french bread pizza. Each half loaf was cut into 5 pieces.
Almost a 2liter of pepsi
1 1/2 cups soup

This is it for now. Wish me luck on my run tomorrow. And good luck to all of you as well

BYE

Here comes the OFFENDER

2009-03-03T11:58:00.000-08:00

So this post will be up for a few days. This, in order to insure most of my readers will see it. I have had some comments from people who read my Blog. They have been negative sarcasm. It is hard for me to hear fat comments from strangers when I am running or just at the store. But this is a place where I open up and write very personal things. So to hear them from people I know read my most intimate thoughts is hurtful, said in any way. I realize I make jokes about myself....I can, I'm the fat one! I also realize that I use sarcasm and comedy to hide my insecurities and self doubts. None of us want other people laughing AT us. If you are truly someone who watches my progress and feels a concern or a kinship because of it, PLEASE keep reading and posting comments. I need and love those of you who have supported me, lifted me, and encouraged me. Those who have smiled when I smile, cry when I cried, felt triumph when I finished the run and hurt with me every time I lengthened my stride. For you, I say, THANK YOU! It is for you that I have a certain amount of accountability. That keeps me going at times when I feel to fail. It is for you I think of all the success WE can attain when we try! It is for you I write when I have gone astray and feel ashamed. It is for you, so You and I can join together and accomplish the impossible!

I struggle, and I fall, I am scared and afraid. I have "Feeble knees". Many of you know of this from the standard works of Scripture. It means weak, without force, easily broken....
Isaiah 35: 3-4 states
3 Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.
4 Say to them that are fearful of heart, Be strong, Fear not: behold, your God will come..........he will come and save you.

Marvin J Ashton ( a favorite speaker of mine) has this thought:

"How do we deal with the inevitable moments of fear or “feeble knees”? It is vital that we not face them alone. Always it is helpful and comforting to be able to confide in a loving and trusted friend or relative who empathetically listens to our uncertainties. We often find that our confidant has experienced similar fears, and we may even share in his wise counsel.

Life is never easy, and we cannot escape our own case of feeble knees from time to time. It is thus essential that we love and support one another."

I have come to love and need this form of outlet on my journey. As it is a seemingly never ending journey, I rely upon and admire my friends and family who have helped me escape my feeble knees. I can see at times my knees strengthening and I see myself becoming stronger. This because of the uplifting words, the back pats, the "way to go" 's and the encouraging posts.

I hope and pray I have not offended anyone. It was not my intent.

Thanks be to God for healing body and spirit! And for kindness from friends and strangers alike!

God Bless You

Bye

happy sad and everything in between

2009-02-26T14:02:00.000-08:00

So I am very proud of myself. I have worked out every day this week.
Yesterday, Wednesday, I was unable to take Cris to work so I did not have a car. This poses a problem when it comes to getting to my workout spot. So I did what I was not sure I had the strength to do....I worked out here at home. I borrowed some weights from my neighbors and went outside (because it was finally beautiful) and did lunges, squats, sprints, running, jumping jacks and weights. Exactly the workout I would have done at church. I was very proud of myself.
Another development in my life is that I decided to take it one step further (I know ( may be pushing my powers) and I am no longer eating after 8pm. Most people say 7 but most people don't go to bed at 11:30 and midnight. Any way I have been able to do this. Last night I had a little celebration for a friends birthday and we were able to finish dinner before 8pm but the cake (brownie) wasn't eaten until almost 9pm. I made everyone a dish with brownie and ice cream (we even had Reese's ice cream, my favorite) and made one for me. It was at this time that I remembered the promise I had made to myself. But it was so tempting AND what would everyone else think? They might be uncomfortable that I wasn't eating with them. They might think I am trying to send them a message that they shouldn't eat it. All this went through my mind at the exact instant that another person came to the gathering. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gave her my bowl and started putting things away. By the time I was done cleaning up everyone was well into their treat. I just stood around and talked with them. Here is the deal: NO ONE noticed!!!! Seriously, no one paid any attention to the fact that I didnt indulge. I felt FANTASTIC!!!!!! So for almost a week I have been able to eat better AND at the right times. I am so happy with my progress. It really is hard to imagine how hard life was for me a year ago. How difficult it was for me to get out of bed, socialize, smile! Smiling was SO hard. I remember forcing them at the right times in the right places. I was so unhappy, things looked so hopeless. Then I was introduced the marvelous world of pain, torture, heat, sweat-EXERCISE! I may not look any different at this point but I feel different and I am a different person. I may one day look back and have to read these entries to even remember the rough times.
On a very sad note: My wonderful sister Robin, who has been my constant, is no longer able to run. She has an IT Band injury and it has become severe. It is painful for her and I know her heart aches to run again. Hopefully someday with lots of prayer and work she will be able to run. It may well be that she never again experiences the joy of crossing a marathon line. I do know this, ANYTHING she does she wins at! She is a hero to many and goes unrecognized most all the time. If I could take her injury from her I would! I wish and pray for nothing more than her most sincere happiness. She introduced me to this very foreign world and was with me in the worst times (that happened a lot) and in the most intensely gratifying moment of my life. Robin, I love you!!!!!!

back in action

2009-02-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

So yesterday and today I have done full on painful workouts. One full hour of cardio and weights. 25 minutes of cool down and that adds up to me eating my words. Yes, I AM willing to workout everyday for 1 1/2 hours. I feel good that I am back doing it and I am surprisingly better than I thought I would be. I figured it would be hard to get back into it and it would be doubly painful also. As it turns out I think it is just as painful for everyone else as it is for me. Maybe I will have someone take pictures and I will try to figure out how to download them. The weather is slowly improving so maybe it wont be long before I can be out running on pavement. That is the one downfall is that I am definitely NOT getting in all the running I want. It is probably about 1 mile each day. I think that with the cardio weight workout it will keep me in condition to do my full runs after the weather improves. I could be wrong, heaven knows I'm wrong a lot!
Next week I will be purchasing my own set of 10lb weights and then I will be able to do this at home. Although, I do believe it is better when I go to the church to workout. There are no house distractions there to keep me from the work.
So I am back in the saddle again!~

BYE

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2009-02-23T13:17:00.002-08:00

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Now THIS is one of the best pictures even if all YOU can see is the bums of Lady's you may not even know! I remember this moment just like I was in the moment. This is the turn to the finish and we knew it and were gaining adrenaline. Not much mind you since we hadn't much left. We were determined to run it as fast as we could! This was a great idea with a slow execution. It was hard in that there were cars with people leaving. Keep in mind some of the people leaving had run the 26.2 miles. Now, not to give the impression we were slow BUT lots of cars past us and I think we saw amazement on some of their faces. As if to say "Were they on the course? did they start late? Why did it take them so long?" Now, one of the cars gave us a big smile and a wave with a thumbs up. This was encouraging to us at this point.
As we rounded the last curve (about 1/8 mile past this picture) Robin makes a brave and necessary move. She crosses the road - - - - WHAT! Yes, any change of movement is startling. I said to her very loudly " what the *@!& are you doing" Sorry but I was out of my ever loving mind! She started laughing at this and that is how we crossed the finish line with huge smiles. Not because we finished a 13.1 miles journey but because the sister who never cusses swore at the very end. Hopefully this is not telling of my entire life!

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2009-02-23T13:17:00.001-08:00

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We were at the half way marker at this point in the run. Oh, what a blessed sight to see when body and mind are united in pain! It was here that my father and sister and brother in law joined us. My nieces were there also. What a refreshing break! We soon found that while the break was refreshing and wonderful....the start after the break was horrid. Don't we look kind of like this is the finish line? Seriously, other than the finish line (and a toilet) nothing could have been better to be near!
I love this picture!

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2009-02-23T13:17:00.000-08:00

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This is the half marathon I ran in Nevada. It is the running from an angel marathon. It was fun an hard. This picture is at about mile 11. Shortly after this we got a burst of running energy and then we were at the finish line. As it is a couple of months past I can say It was fun! I am doing this to myself again in May. YIPPEE
Notice that the camera features the leisurely stroll we were taking on this bright sunny day?????

NOT- first it may have been bright but it was freezing cold. Second, we were running and leisure never did cross our minds(except when we started talking about food). As has been said by many a human before us - the camera doesn't grasp the picture.
But you must admit our backsides do look might fine after 11 miles! I'm pretty sure you can see the fat dropping off my rear and onto the unforgiving pavement......

tough times

2009-02-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

I am really having a tough time with this season. It is so incredibly difficult to workout when it is cold. it doesn't help that we have one car (if you can call it that, it is falling apart) and taking Cris to work at 7am with kids in tow is not a fabulous experience. Ah, who am I kidding, I wanted for forever to have children, I am not going to use them as the excuse.
I AM GOING TO WORKOUT TOMORROW MORNING! Rain or snow(most likely) blizzard or sun I am going!
It is going to be so nice when I can start running outside again. I feel yucky these days. I went two days without doing my hair and I don't want to revert back to the old me. It seems the old me keeps peeking through.
I went to register for my next 1/2 marathon thinking that would be a great goal and I got to the site and it is all sold out! Do you believe that? It is May 2 and I had it all worked out. Bummer dude! Now I need another one to run. A lady at church suggested the one in Nashville. They have live music all through the run and a concert after. Of course, it is country music but I like it so that isn't a problem. The problem is, I ran once without my family with me and I really missed out on sharing it with them. I think it would mean more to me and them if they were there to see me finish. So Nashville is out. I am going to keep looking but if you guys see anything good let me know.
Also, as a side note, I went to the Dr with what I thought was strep and so I had to get on the forbidden and worldwide hated scale! So, I am still at the same weight I was in Dec!!!!?????!!!! How is this? I mean I know I don't eat great but I do watch it and try to eat better. I must say that if I am not going to lose weight I cant see any benefit in continuing. I DO NOT want to be the woman who is working out everyday for an hour or two.That isn't me and I have no desire to be that person. I know, I know, it is for my good and it will happen eventually and you are doing great....blah blah blah!
Seriously people, skinny people, you just don't get it! I hate fertility doctors! I hate my Uterus and my ovaries! I hate my glands (although they are "perfect")! I hate jiggly thighs! I hate Swiss cake rolls, the kind in the box and the ones on my sides! I hate coming up with healthy meals! I hate holidays that for all intents and purposes are for candy sales! I hate that I love soda!
YES< I am in a bad mood!! Let me have it! It is mine and I want it! I will say sorry later but for now I hate it all!
I am a fat runner! Do you have any idea how terrible that feels? How hard it is to motivate myself to workout? I watch the tiny little girls(ok women) that workout with me and they have no trouble doing squats and lunges and weights. It is easy for them. Well, it is not easy for me! It sucks and it is hard and I cry when it is over.

This doesn't feel good anymore.

BYE!

2009-02-07T18:02:00.000-08:00

What an interesting week this has been. I have been able to workout 3 days this week which is normally not good but for my first week back I think not too bad either. I am aiming for a 5 day workout week coming up starting with Monday. It will help that there is a group of ladies at church that want to get together 2 x a week and do weights and cardio. Yea! I was going to skip cardio with them and just do that at the fitness club but I have been kick out of the fitness club. Yes, my son is too aggressive for the other ladies children. Bubba is aggressive but come on ladies they are boys! Must we hover over them like a mother bird over her chicks? Blake is not used to sharing ( what 2 yr old is???) and so he would take toys and he does like to shove people down when they are not agreeing with him. Does any of this sound unlike a 2 yr old? Oh well, it is for the best. God made another way for me to do what I need to do. So I will workout at church 2x a week and run other times. This week is going to be really nice so I think some out door running is in order. I cant wait to get out there. I am thinking about doing the capital city 1/2 marathon. It is up in the air as of now but it is in the running as a very good possibility. I am really sick and have been stuffed up and runny nose for a few days but other than that I am feeling pretty good. The soreness in my hips are going away but the nature of RA says it will be back. I am once again feeling the benefits of working out. Although I still hate it and dread going to do it, I do love the way it makes me feel and someday the way it will make me look. I am not caught up in appearances but it would be nice to be average. Well, my brother in law sent the pictures so it is in the hands of the USPS. Hopefully Monday the package will arrive. I am as anxious as you seeing as I have not seen them yet either. It will be a big day for us all. BYE

Out with the Funk, In with the sweat

2009-02-03T09:01:00.000-08:00

Well, after some time and a lot of silence I am back in the game again. I guess I had been resting at first to recover from the marathon(supposed to be 1 day for every mile you run). But then it just seemed to be too difficult to get out. Kids, headaches, snow and ice all seemed fairly good reasons to lock myself in my house and hibernate. Well, my blogging friends I am out o the funk and back better than ever.
I went running today. Running might be too strong a term to use for what I was doing. Maybe jogging would be better....ANYWAY, I got my heart beat up and slowly took it down and back up. It was a good work out. I ran just over 17 minutes so I am sure I did a mile. The I did some core workout (not nearly enough, but I seem to have forgotten what my sister showed me) and some after run meditation.
Because it is too cold and icy outside to run I ran inside our church in the Cultural Hall/basketball gym. It kind of stunk because it was divided off into 2 sections so I only had a small area to run in. But I did it and I was excited to do it! I hate the way I feel when I am running but I love the after SO much that it is worth it. So I have been struggling with migraines ever since I was sick. Well, they went away for a while and now they are back. So for a couple days I have been mostly in bed with this migraine just trying not to throw up and trying to manage the children with love. I have been able to keep it so that as long as there are no bright lights on and no screaming I can do fairly well. Last night broke it. I went to bed early (this is huge for me) and ended up taking some pretty strong meds in the middle of the night just because I knew I really NEEDED to go today. In order to go workout I have to be able to drive and in order to drive I have to be able to see and in order to see I have to kill the migraine! Well, murder it was not! But, I was able to subdue the symptoms enough to go out. I think something bigger than me doesn't want me to be out there again because my RA kicked in and I could barely walk my hips hurt so bad and my fingers were stiff. But I pushed on and even when I was running and felt like I was getting dizzy and going to pass out I just took it a bit easier and kept going. At one point I looked at the wall and was sure I was going down. But I took a drink and did my walking for a few and I was able to finish. My sis is getting the marathon pictures downloaded tonight I believe so you can see my triumph and power. I must say my core and beeehind are feeling it today....Yippee! BYE

2009-01-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

After all that fantastic hard stuff I am in some kind of funky lull. It is -4 degrees below today and I still have not gone to the fitness center to workout. I want to and I know I will feel great once it is done but getting my butt out the door is another thing all together. Cris came home last night and said "I'll watch the kids and take care of things here, you go to the gym and get a good workout." I didnt go! Why, no good reason, I just didnt go. This really sucks because I can feel it pulling me into a place I dont ever want to go again and yet it is like I am so tired I dont have the strength to pull out. I guess I better sign up or another marathon so the goal is in my face.
I saw a marathon in Florida that would be awesome but it is Feb 1 and that is a bit too soon and a bit too far. There is another one in Monteray Bay California in November but it is $1400 per person. YICKES! I'll keep looking....BYE

Stairway to Heaven

2009-01-11T14:29:00.000-08:00

it is somewhat difficult to put into words all that happened and how I felt and still feel. I can only say this: this experience has been life affirming and life changing. More of a spiritual journey than I knew. How does one understand the hand of God in an earthly and seemingly plain experience? While in the mountains and on the course I thought I would have lots of thoughts and great insights. This is what I read about and heard people talk about. The thing was, that didn't happen for me! The run was hard and it hurt and was totally uncomfortable. Not only physically but emotionally also. It is hard to watch people who are running further pass you going to the finish while you are still headed to the half way mark. So all the Spiritual stuff was just not there at that time. I have since spent time wondering why! Then I realized that for me the spiritual stuff has taken place over many months. I have learned a sense of value, at any weight! People continuously commented today at church at how good I look. I did look good, but it had more to do with inner than outer. I am not that much smaller than I was a few months ago, but I feel like a much bigger person inside. For me taking this journey gave me something back I lost after my illnesses. I was actually given back in triple quantities my status as a daughter of a Heavenly Father. I know it sounds Corny but I know who I am and I can see Gods plan for me in this journey. I am going to start working out again this week. Tomorrow will be my first hard workout since the run. It will be different for me now. I am not sure exactly how, but it is! My goals are still undetermined but I am more aware of His hand in this and will now look to Him for the path to take. In the mean time I will be working my heart out to take some weight off the muscles and bones that worked so hard for me last week. More for my health now than my looks. I will never be a size 2 or 4 or even 6, it's not about that. I am going to be the Princess I see in the mirror! So as weird as this blog might be, I am going to keep blogging my progress. I am going to keep weight training with intensity now, so I am sure I will have some choice thoughts to share. Please continue reading and supporting me. It is through another that we sometimes see ourselves!
To the run....It was cold! Did I mention that before I wonder? It was 46 degrees with an average 20 mile an hour wind in our face. Most of the marathoners had the wind at their backs when they hit the 1/2 way mark. It took us longer than most so by the time we hit the 1/2 the day was changed and it was hitting us directly at the side. While I was glad not to have the wind in our faces it was so not helpful to have it hitting us sideways. The run was put together well and there were lots of volunteers and helpers. Every 1 1/2 miles there was water available and an odd drink called heet or heat. I never tried it but I did think about it a couple times. Apparently it is an energy drink. I am just not sure how these things will effect me and so I avoided it. Sometimes for me energy things mean a drop in blood sugar and not good things. We were soo tired that trying anything new that might not work was a risk we were unwilling to make. We ate these jelly belly beans that are like GU only in a bean form and much tastier. I owe my sister big for bringing those. I was just going to eat the GU that they provided. Afterwards I tried a little of the GU and it is nasty tasting but more than that the texture is one I DO NOT enjoy. SO big hallelujahs to Robin or that.
I plan to run 2 more 1/2 marathons this year. SO if anyone is interested in running with me I would love it. I think that while this sport is an individual sport it is so much better with friends.
Well, my girls just came up stairs saying that our roof is leaking so I gotta go.

Notes from the mountains

2009-01-08T07:37:00.000-08:00

here are the thoughts I had before the run started... It is so gorgeous out here! Clear weather and nice temperature. Lake Mead is glass like and the surrounding mountains seem to invite us into their bosom. I feel a tad nervous for the unknown but as for the run I am confident. I have prepared and I know the promise, run and not be weary, walk and not faint. ( I was really looking forward to this promise and at mile 7 I was clinging to it) I knew that promise applied directly to me. My mood is Serene and calm. It is so beautiful here!

That was about 15 minutes before the run started.

We got to our hotel after 8pm on January 2nd. robin and I went to check in with the run committee and John checked us into the hotel. It was the Hacienda near Lake Mead. If you NEED a hotel near the Hoover Damn or Lake Mead it will do the job. Robin and I headed for the banquet room and found a few people (not the crowd I expected) waiting to hand out the packets and shirts. We went to the furthest person and she gave us our packets. We asked if we could get our sisters packets as well and she gave them to us. We got our shirts. The guy asked me "what size would you like?" I told him " the largest you have got!" and smiled. He didnt seem to think it was even remotely funny. It was then I realized our shirt sizes were predetermined and it was written on my packet. Oops. Open mouth insert foot. The next table was Calico Racing merchandise for us to purchase. I got 2 small running shirts for my girls. And a bandanna for my son. We the left and went up to our rooms(through the smoky casino) and retired for the night. I found the ice machine on the floor above us(while discovering that casinos dont have a 13th floor because of bad luck) and went back to my room. I got the washcloth and bacterial soap out and washed any surface i knew I would touch. Remote control got washed several times as did the door knob and light fixtures. I removed the comforter (with the cloth) as they generally dont wash these. I laid down drank a ton of ice water, watched tv for a little bit and went to sleep. I slept very soundly! I was not sure I would. Sometimes when I get nervous I dont sleep well but this was not the case. I woke early, packed up as I knew we would not be there after the run, I got dressed and headed to Robins room. We left and went to Lake Mead and were directed to Boulder Beach. What a rush, driving through the canyon to what could either be the best or worst day of my life. There were not as many people there as I expected but that was ok. It was super cold! Robin wore a long sleeved shirt under our aces shirt. John made shirts for all four of us that had our birth order number and our name. on the front were the four aces and above said "allam aces". These were great shirts and perfect to run in. Anyway, I told Robin she would get hot and I wasnt going to wear anything cause I didnt want to be hot. Wow, I should just keep it shut when I have no idea. It was cold cold cold. the wind gusts got up to 20 miles an hour while were running. So before the run started it was pretty cold. I drank some hot water and stretched and used the porta potty. We lined up, I was in the back, and got ready to start. We met these two sweet gentlemen who were friends that compete against each other every year in a marathon. One was from Texas and the other from a state llike Alabama or thereabouts. They were older and he said they would be slower than most. We laughed and assured him that he would at least be ahead of us. This was more true than we thought. The run began! immediately I knew I was out of my league. Rolling hills? I dont think so! We started on a hill, I thought "this will be the biggest hill" and the rest will be flatter. NOPE! This was actually the smallest hill and ended up being on I looked forward to for miles. We knew right away that we would be alone in the run. All the other runners )and the one walker) were ahead of us from the start. They only got smaller and smaller in our view. Soon enough after the first mile (which is torture for me) some of the 10k runners started passing us. Good news, they thought we were in the front of the pack of 10ks. Bad news, we weren't! At the 3 mile marker they would all turn around and go back and we would keep right on going. But for the moment it was nice to have people around with encouraging words and laughter. At one point some of the 10ks started back to the finish and told us to keep going that the wind would be at our backs soon. We just smiled knowing that it would be a long time before the wind was at our backs. As it turned out the wind was NEVER at our backs! Every mile and a half was an aid station. Water was general but on a few there was food and at one a porta potty.

Here I will insert the first funny story. I will warn you that all of my funny stories are, as a general rule, gross! So you have been warned:

About 2 minutes after the start we were both sniffling. Robin asked me if I brought any tissues? I had not so we were both sniffling and knew that at some point we would need to blow. So, a few minutes in I was really needing a tissue. Having small children I have been snotted on in many different places. So I grabbed my sleeve and blew my nose. It was gross but necessary. Well it want for a moment that I realized that what came out was MUCH more than I expected. It was huge and my sister had to turn away in order not to vomit. So I knew I needed to get it off somehow, But how? We were far from a station and we were in the land of nothingness. So I took the underpart of my shirt and removed the subject from my sleeve. unfortunately, it swung around and hit mu bum. I, of course, did not know that. It was much later that it was noticed and commented on. So, we got to the 1 1/2 mile mark and I asked if anyone had a tissue (I was still in need). The gentleman there went to his car to see if he had any. Meanwhile, one of the ladies had some in her pocket. She offered them and I took them. As I turned away robin said "I dont think she wanted you to take them ALL". I very apologetically gave back most of her tissues and was laughing when the gentleman came up with a box of tissues. So i took some of them also. I was stocked up now, at the time I didnt really need them anymore. We almost entirely forgot about the buggers on my butt until later that day when we had checked into a NICE hotel. I was embarrassed but it WAS funny.

God ran the marathon

2009-01-05T14:09:00.000-08:00

After about 7 1/2 miles we were sore, hungry, hot and cold, I had to use the bathroom(badly), and in general we were tired and ready to be finished. We werent talking much but enough that neither of us needed our ipods. A good portion of full marathoners were passing us (which always make you feel GREAT! Not!). One gentleman behind us said "Hi, Rebecca and Robin" and it startled us once again. People kept calling us by our names and it was freaky. It was only after the second person did it early on in the run that we realized we had our names on our backs. So this gentleman said hi to us and we grunted something that could maybe resemble a hi to him and he passed us like the wind. It was then that I noticed something on the back of his shirt. It was a scripture written by Paul the apostle to the Philippians. Philippians 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." ! We said it OVER and OVER. Emphasizing different words to make it sound different. This got us probably another mile and a half at least and made us laugh several times just by the way it sounded. I know resting the scriptures is bad but I think that scripture was placed before us for a reason. That is one of the many stories we have to tell. Miracles

IT IS DONE! I HAVE FINISHED WHAT I CAME HERE TO DO!

2009-01-05T13:51:00.000-08:00

The run is over and it was incredible. One of the problems is that I am completely and overwhelmingly exhausted. I have written many thoughts down and my sister Robin will add some input. as for now I will say this...I started the run and I finished the run! I gave my all out there! At some points I had to swallow the tears because I knew they would take more energy than I had. I am going to put some of the pictures on here tonight. Robin and I both ran for one of our sisters that were unable to run. That was wonderful. Renea was there but her daughter had a game and so she was unable to run BUT she did meet us at the half point mark and ran about 1/8th a mile with us. That was nice! We took some pictures and my father was there with encouraging words. My brother in law, who has been incredibly kind and helpful. He has literally given me this opportunity. He took some great pictures and was a tremendous support for both of us. This journey is NOT over!!!! It has really just begun. We are already planning our next run later this year. I have gone from someone who hated exercises to someone who in one year will have run at least two marathons. What a HIGH I am on. This is the best high anyone could be on. Thank you for all you have done, and know this, I will continue to need your help, answers and support. It is what made the difference. Thanks, BYE

24 hours before the marathon

2009-01-02T16:05:00.000-08:00

so i am here in Vegas and i am getting ready to go to pick up my packet. The flight here was fantastic. I was on JetBlue and I would really never fly any other way if they were in my town. It was a great flight and I am so un-nervous that it is hard for me to believe that tomorrow is the day I have been preparing for so long. (like 4 months). We went to get something to eat at Caesar's palace and we ended up at The Cheesecake Factory and I had a hot turkey sandwich. It was huge and i couldnt finish it all. Then we came to see family and rest for tomorrow. After we go pick up our packets we are all going to go to eat our last meal until the marathon. There are apparently a lot of differences between the 5 and 10ks and a marathon. There are sponsors that give things out to help the runners. I will let you know later what the packet contains. I have heard rumors that there is a cool chill towel that we are going to get at the race. Right now though, my nieces are doing karaoke and I am enjoying my 11, 9, and 8year old nieces singing rap and other songs. it is hilarious. So while I want to keep you updated I also want more to spend time with them. BYE

2008-12-31T09:32:00.000-08:00

update on the run.
I decided through prayer and counseling with my sweetheart that I need to finish that which I have started! I need to follow the path I have felt prompted all along. So I am flying to Vegas on Friday afternoon and running Saturday and coming back on Sunday. After I made the decision and really knew that is what I was going to do all the stress and anxiety vanished. Not to say there are not times of guilt. Every once in a while I feel bad leaving my sister behind. There is nothing I can do about that, though I wish there was, I am really still excited. The excitment is very different than it was a few days ago. My heart is still broken over my nephew and I really wish there were something I can do. His infection count is down from 19 to 13 today. It is supposed to be 1 or under. So he has a long way to go but such a big improvment from last night. He gets his pickline in today. This will be difficult. I had a power pick line after I left the hospital from Meningitis and it is not fun. I wonder where they will put it? Mine was in my arm pit, my brother in law has one in him arm and a friend had one in her neck. So I guess it depends on the person as to where they put it in. All I know is the arm pit was horrible. TOok them 45 minutes to put in and they dont put you under for it so every time they had to insert the line I felt it. Also, an infant of 6 months can ull on it and possibly pull it out just far enough to get it out of the heart. well, I will let the Doctors figure that one out. SO, the bottom line is this....I am going to Vegas! I am running the marathon! My other sister isnt running so it went from 4 to 2! What a great time this will be! thank you for the kindness you have all shown. Thank you for helping me through the journey I have taken. I hope that someday I can be a support to all of you in some way as you have inspired and built me up. Have a happy New Year, I pray it brings peace and joy! So instead of Bye.......I love you!

2008-12-30T16:05:00.000-08:00

I went to the hospital to see my sister and nephew. He is not doing well. When I went in the room he was crying and the nurse was trying to help calm him down. It was heartbreaking and without wanting to I started crying. I tried to stop but I was unable to control the tears. Apparently the tube inserted into the first layer of his lung drained nicely but there is still congestion so strongly that they are at a loss as to why and where and how this is ongoing. Ever watch "House"? My sister compares this to that show because keep doing all they can think of and still there is no improvement. She came down to the car where her other children were waiting and she went to say hi and give them hugs. They were so sad! Her oldest daughter started crying and there I went again. It was so sad. I just spoke to my Blake on the phone and he was screaming my name and crying so much that I am now wondering if it just is not meant to be and I should go home!!!!

sorry about the spelling but this is important!

2008-12-30T12:08:00.000-08:00

Houston we have a problem! Actually it is more of a situation. Here it is....I am with my sisters in their state and I am obviously here for my marathon. The plan was to train while here for a few days and then a couple days before take the rest I would need to make the big run. On Christmas day my nephew went into the hospital with RSV and pnemonia. They put him on all the medications that would normally help a 6month old. He didnt respond. they had to drain his lungs. this means that they had to put him under and put a tube into his side where his right lung is (I believe it was the right) and over the course of time it drains. He doesnt seem to be getting better and they are going to put in a feeding tube today. Of course he is on Morphine and Lortab and all sorts of other medications. My sister has not left the hosputal at all and it is taking a great toll on her, as you can imagine. After the lungs are drained he will have a pick line put in and she will have to give him IV medications several times a day for 6 weeks. But it doesnt lopk like her is coming out any time soon. So she is most obviously not going to run! Here is the debate I am having with myself....do I go and run a marathon we all were going to run together as a sister group? OR, do I stay where I am needed and give my sister the support she needs? On the one hand, my purpose for coming here was specifically to run this marathon! BUT, it was also to be run with all 4 of us. ON THE OTHER HAND, my sister and son are in desperate need of total support from our family. She wants to run also but cant and probably feels bad that she cant. She apoligized to me this morning for ruining the marathon experiance for me. I almost cried...I dont want her feeling like that at this point in her life. It is a tough choice. There is another problem, if I go I was going to ride down with her 8 hours to Boulder. My other sister is flying and already has the ticket. I dont have a car and cant really afford to rent one. I have been praying to know the right answer but I have not had any clarity in this matter. My parents are coming out to help her and relieve some family members who have taken the other children. Maybe when they come and I have more time with my sisters I wil more fully be able to recognize the answer. But for now I am in a state of constant confusion and restless reluctancy! So, my dear friends, I put this into your hands. Pray for my nephew most of all but if you have an extra moment of silence between you and our Father who is so merciful pray for me as well. The Spirit of God needs more to be with my sisters family but to my great blessing and yours God can give us all the comfort of answers from the Heavens.

2008-12-29T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am heading out to my first place of destination on my way to Vegas. I am soooo super excited about this. I am not nervous or scared or anything in that area. Just plain old excited! I will try to keep updated on my feelings as we get closer but we are at 5days and counting. Hope there are people out there who have enjoyed this journey. I will have a new goal to work for after I get back. If anyone has any good ideas for challenge 2009 I would love to hear them!

13 DAYS REMAINING!!!

2008-12-21T10:53:00.000-08:00

I said I was going to be better but I guess I was wrong. I will write when I write! I did a couple really good workouts this week and it felt good to do weights and not be in total body pain. I tried not to hold myself back because of the pain and I think it worked. I feel stronger but most of that is mind power. mind power is great though because it is what takes you through the times you really wont go without a little mind sabotage. I am sooooo sooooo soooo excited to get going to vegas to take part in what is one the crowning moments of my life. It probably sounds corny (cause it is,,,,you know it is) but this moment is right up there with the best ever times. Marrying Cris, Fostering our children and then adopting them, the meningitis (healing from) etc. i am going to workout EVERY single day this week. I will need your help with this endeavor though. I need accountability and that is you....my wonderful, kind, loving, smart, healthy, generous friends (yes, I am showering you so you will help me). I promise to do a full workout everyday! Running, and weight training! Even if I have to run around my basement like I did the first week. And do crunches the old fashion way. And use cans of food to lift. I have 13 days left and I am stoked for this event.

Funny story: yesterday I was heading out the door to go run and train and as I was leaving my son started screaming. He did not want me to leave. He is at that momma's boy stage (I love every minute of it). So I came back and used all my tricks to calm him down and get to the point where he will let me go. No use! It was a no go and I knew I was going to leave my husband with a hysterical child. Finally after 10 minutes I said " Bubba, I have to go running and I need to leave!" He looked up at me and waved and said "bye, go run"! It was that simple, he has become so accustomed to me working out that he is comfortable with me leaving to do THAT! I love that he sees this as part of life instead of something hard and out of the way.

Changes have taken place in our home for the better since September because of this. After I get back I am going to start weight watchers and try to lose some weight. So I am going to ask all my friends and readers to help me come up with my next big goal. I am not going to do a full marathon however, that is about the extent of the limitations I am willing to consider. So be thinking about a great goal, that is seemingly impossible. For instance, how about you run a marathon at 270lbs with only 4 months training? That seemed pretty out there, but here I am! Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone. Bye

2008-12-16T23:32:00.000-08:00

I have to thank all of you who respond and leave messages. It is really neat and helpful to read your thoughts. I get bored with mine! lol. I have been bad still about writing so I will give a quick update. I have been running.

What? Isnt that good enough?

Ok, so I have been running AND working with weights. It is more fun than I thought originally. The first day I worked with weights I was tired but the next day I felt like someone rammed a truck into my arms and shoulders. I could hardly move them. In fact my right arm was so sore and weak that when I woke up the next day I went to rub my little nose I had to bring my head to my hand because I could hardly raise it. But after doing it more it is better and I feel like hulk lady until I am working out and some small young thing comes up next to me and grabs the 50lb weights and can do more than I do with my 10, 12, 15lb weights.

I went in the other day to workout and went to the bathroom, which I have not needed before, and low and behold I hit the mother load! They have a sauna, tanning beds, hot tub etc for my use free of charge. Oh you bet that tomorrow when I go I am in that sauna after my workout. Can you imagine! Of all the great and wonderful things to find, I really hit it big. I couldnt hit bigger in vegas! I have kept a steady 4miles going because no injury is going to push me out now that I am 2 weeks away. I have done longer runs and will a couple times more before I go but for the most part I am keeping it steady a 4. I do have some excellent news........I have now got 4 miles under an hour! Yes, do you recall the horrible 5k incident? Well, that 5k took me 53 minutes. I am great! the holidays are going o be rough for me. I made candy tonight and dont have a problem staying away from that but it is the other things I might have rouble with. tomorrow I am making "hot chocolate" cookies. Not made with hot chocolate but they taste like it. It is an egg white cookie with chocolate chips. they are fantastic and so melty that one never is enough. I will have to put them in baggies right away. Also, I have a fantastic recipe for toffee that I will be making tomorrow as well. So my incentive is that I am going to weigh myself and I dont want any extra poundage showing up.

On a more serious note.....Some of you may have known of my illness in January 2007. I nearly died and wasnt supposed to walk again. Lots of other hard things I had to overcome but those were the amazing ones to the doctors. Well, some other side effects of the meningitis have been anxiety and depression and some other things. This past spring and summer were really bad for me, in fact they were the worst times in my life, and that is really saying something. I never thought I would be happy again. I never thought I would voluntarily smile again. We prayed and fasted and went to doctors and spiritual advisers. nothing seemed to help. Or so it seemed. As I trusted in the Lords promise to me all those months ago I found that gradually over the past few months I have become me again. It wasnt until I was talking with Cris that I said, I am not sure why it is that the Lord keeps giving me miracles that seem to push me continually forward wih this running. And that is when he said "Can you not see it? Can you not see the change?" when I asked what he was talking about he told me that I havent sopped to notice that the light is back in my life. I have hope of things to come and a love for life. God sent me on this path to this marathon to heal me! I really is hat simple. It has worked and I feel so blessed. I shouldnt be alive but I am! I shouldnt be walking but I run! I shouldnt be leaving my house daily, but I love to visit people! So many miracles! In small things.........Bye

better late than never

2008-12-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

I am going to give you the exact thoughts I had while working out last night. I used my phone to jot down thoughts. Sports was the only thing they had on last night and too many guys were into it so I couldnt change it. So I went to put my music on and listen to the book on downloaded on my phone and found that I didnt have the headset to go with it. So I was stuck there with my thoughts and running,,,,,,,BORING! So I put my thoughts down and here they are. This is exactly the way I wrote them so they are abbreviated and scrambled.....Dad, you may not want to read this part...

No fun to run alone! Sport on and no headset! Need a new sport bra!!!! Hate it this time. My right hip is killin me and it is only 2 miles in. SUCKS!! I stopd 2.25 mils in and wlkd it! Went from 18 min mile to 18.40min mile after 3.5 mils i am don with run. Hip is now kilng my leg. Less than an hour for it. Feel perfect; lungs are stretched and i feel loose but still pain, i do feel good but still a bit disapntd that i couldnt do more. I will shoot for 4 miles each day. Then i can push myself monday to 7 miles without injury. Need to check with jeff g as to where i am suposd to be.

So this is where I was last night while running. I felt good after but my hip is still bothering me. Today I went and met a personal trainer they have on staff and we went through a workout. We did the dumbbells (there is a reason they call them that!) 60 of those in different forms ranging in lbs from 10 to 15. Sounds wimpy but hey, you try it! I did several machines they have that work back and arms and chest (ya like I want THAT to gain any more muscle). She kicked my butt with the push ups and a little dealio where you put your arms behind you and your feet out with toes pointing up and you squat and come back up. YEA RIGHT, I kept falling. She was loving every bit of it I know she was. I think these people become personal trainers because they feel a need to torture! This is my theory. LOL. After 40 minutes of that she wanted to go in and do cardio with me. NOT! My upper body is insanely sore. Not pain per say but weak and wobbly feeling. It does feel kind of good now though. I am meeting her again tomorrow night. I know she will torture me again and I know I will keep coming back for more. That is just how twisted I am! I have also started counting my calories. I am supposed to have 1850 calories a day. Yea right! I can barely get 14oo. I sometimes just dont eat and I know that is wrong but I am working on it. When I do eat I know the stuff I put in my mouth needs to be healthier but ok so your out driving and you have 10 errands to run and the kids are fighting and yelling and the little one is tired and you;ve had to pee for hours and they are hungry and you are no where near home. What do you do???? Subway is the best answer. I mean there is nothing else out there. Its terrible but this is my life. So after a workout, can you say gassy miss gas gas. Seriously people there are so many downsides to working out and this is a pretty big one. What is the chemical reaction that causes someone to be so gassy after working out? I need to know this, maybe I will do research on it. I could even write a thesis on this and make millions of $. Ok, so I am a bit wound up and I can t help it. I will go back tomorrow and the next day for torture session after torture session and I will become the most fantastic mother in the whole world!!! I said I was wound up, what you didnt believe me? Well, it is after midnight and I should go to bed. Any answers to my questions would be great, any laughter at my insanity would be better! BYE

2008-12-10T18:31:00.000-08:00

I am going to post more later tonight however, I have to tell you that I am awesome!!! Tonights workout killed me and yet, I still did it. I know, you cant wait to hear more......I must leave you guessing>>>>>>BYE

Liar, Liar

2008-12-08T12:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I am a big fat (literally) liar! The intense migraine came back with a vengeance five minutes ago. I have to clean my house and this awful thing is back. There are two chronic medical conditions I dont understand....#1 Cramps -seriously!!! I get the whole Eve thing but come on now! #2 and no less significant Migraines. I have knowledge of how they work and what goes on in the miraculous human body but WHY??? This is the thing I dont get, what do they do to improve or work that cant be done any other way? If you know and dont share I think you should be damned to all eternal flames and darkness from eternity to eternity......Yes, I may have something to discuss with the psychologist next visit. BYE

6 miles of bliss

2008-12-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

Oh, I am so sorry that I have been so negligent in my bloggings. I am going to try and get back to writing every day. I promise to do better.

So, here's the deal>>>>It is so awesome to work out! I am still fat and I still love food but now I love to run also. I did 6 miles today and it felt so good. I think I could have another 2 but then I really would have been done. Also, my babysitting time was up and I had to p/u my kids. So I got the job at Metro Fitness. Once a week I work 2.5 hours and I can take my children with me when I go and I watch other peoples kids while they work out. In return I get a membership for free and they watch my kids free when I work out. It is a great deal and I am already taking full advantage of the great deal. Hallelujah I can run indoors! When I left for the gym it was 25 degrees out there. Stingy cold today~ The treadmills there keep track of your miles, time heart rate, lap equivalent, speed, incline, time remaining, and calories burned. I took my phone to listen to my music but didnt need it. I watched Dr Phil and Price is right. It was awesome. Only toward the end, last 10 minutes, did I start getting that ansy get it over with feeling. Which is pretty good. When I got off the treadmill to clean it I felt weird. It was kind of universe moving weird. I didnt feel faint or even weak, just weird. I know, great explanation. Can you believe that only a few months ago I started this??????? I must say I am amazed at myself. If only women like me could feel how I feel now, they would do all the yucky hard stuff at first. Just to get here! It is actually harder to NOT work out. I get feeling yucky and I think the migraine I had this weekend was from lack of running. Maybe not, but I dont have it now. Here is the most amazing part, aside from the fact that I ran that far, nothing on me hurt or hurts!!!! Seriously, NOTHING! At the end my little toes were feeling cramped but that was it. No shin pain during or after. No leg pain or cramps. A little hip discomfort but nothing I would describe as pain. How wonderful is that news? You could not have told me this was possible two months ago. The feeling was supreme. I actually raised my hands above my head and did the Rocky hand shaking in the air dealio. People were looking but I didnt care. What a feat! BRING IT ON WORLD>>>>I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR! I hope you have as good a day as I feel right now 3 hours after my run. BYE

kickin butt and takin names

2008-12-01T07:13:00.000-08:00

So i know I have not been good about posting my events as of late and I apologize. it has been crazy for me this last week and I am getting back to normal. Well, my normal at least! I am actually CRAVING a good hard long run! I need a workout of some sort. One that will seriously kick my butt! Do you every feel this way? Does it ever seem to you that your body needs to get out there and feel the wind and today the snow? it is hard for me to get started that is true but I am feeling propelled to do something bigger than I have done. Something harder than I have pushed before. I know I am asking for punishment, right? Maybe true, but for some reason I think I need it. So what to do? This is the hard question. After Thanksgiving I went to the 4am sales and bought myself one of those exercise balls. Turns out it is one of the small ones but I am going to use it anyway. Friends came over last night and helped blow it up so I am going to try it today but i have a feeling I wont be able to get the kick butt workout I am looking for......I am applying for a childcare job at a local fitness place in return you get a membership. If this happens how much of a blessing would that be??? they dont have a track but at least I could use a professional treadmill and REALLY workout. I just dont think a person can push themselves as far as someone else can. I mean we tend to quit when were tired or thirsty or distracted. But with other people there to say "dont stop now" it seems you would get to push yourself further. My sister says her trainer does this all the time with her. You dont want to look like a wimp (not that I'm saying this about Robin) or look like you are giving up. So you keep pushing through and pretty soon you have gone further than you thought possible. This is what I am looking to find! Also, I think it is time for me to seriously change my eating habits! No REALLY! I ate ice cream last night, which I normally would enjoy. But I didnt! i was eating because others were eating and that really sucks. I feel yucky today and all backed up and well....yucky! Yes, you did need to know that>>> ha ha ha! So today my goal is to workout harder than I want, push myself further than I can go, and do things I've never done before. Can I do it? Yes, I can! No offense Bob the builder. Pray for me and wish me luck. I have only 28 days until i leave for the marathon....BYE

2008-11-27T15:37:00.000-08:00

Today is Thanksgiving and Cris and I put together a party each year for families who are far from their families. We had 57 people for dinner this year. I was afraid we would run out of food but thankfully we didnt.

I am posting because I had a great run yesterday! It was a clear day and so i went a ways extra. My friend was watching my kids so I started out very excited. As usual my hip started bothering me but I worked through it. I ran a pretty major road because it is the only good stretch of road. So in between dodging rude cars and trucks the birds were singing and I am sure talking specifically to me. They were few and far between but they were so fun to hear and see!

I found out that I have a very negative opinion about running in grass. As cars were passing i always made sure they had enough room to pass me. If there was another car coming and I thought they did not have enough room I would go straight into the grass to run until they passed. Well, I found that grass is deceptive and unforgiving! More than one time did I find myself in a position where I was falling down or into a ditch just by moving a few inches to my right or left. All in all it was a fabulous run and I was glad to have gone right before such a hectic day. BYE

2008-11-25T10:05:00.001-08:00

I am going running today in the afternoon with one of my girlfriends that I have run with before. I am pretty excited. Since I didnt feel good this weekend, and still feel under my best, I am going to take it easy but i want to get in at least 4 m iles today. time is slowly ticking by and i am running out of running time. I am hosting dinner for 50 on Thursday so I have been caught up in that today and it will be a welcome relief to run. It is rainy and gloomy but I am sure I will see something outside that will make it worth going. Tomorrow I am going to a hockey game and I want to run before that so I will have to make it a morning trip. We will see how that goes. bye

2008-11-24T12:50:00.001-08:00

So it is Monday and I feel horrible! I cant really complain because I just saw a picture of a friend of mine and she looks far worse than I feel. But I had my flu shot this year and I am sure this is some sort of break off. Anyway, the most exercise I have had this weekend was from my bed to the front room. It all started late Saturday and it is that achy, yucky, headache, stuffy nose thing. Somehow sleep doesnt go as well when you are running. I am thankful for children who seem to be very accommodating today in letting me rest and sleep. I think I am going to invest in one of those exercise balls so I can really start working on my core area. Anyone out there with ideas on how to get my booty out of the door on cold wet yucky grey days? Yep, didnt think so!! Seriously people I need to get a membership to the Y so I can go there and have no excuses. I am hosting a thanksgiving day meal for around 50 people this year. I have been doing it for some time and I enjoy it but I really want to find a way to get out and run tomorrow and wed so I have energy to use on Thursday.

40 days until i am in Boulder getting ready for my run! Can you believe it is almost here? Can you believe I am still into this? It is going to be great to have a few days all by myself without kids but I think I will miss them terribly and I must say that not having my sweetheart at the finish line is going to be hard. The thought of it is already hard for me. He has been so supportive recently with EVERYTHING I am doing recently. It will be nice to have family there with me but he is my heart!

I went this weekend to the movies twice to see the exact same movie. it was incredible! So to all the Jacob fans out there I have to say Edward is the man (not really, i suppose) of the hour! As I watched him run i was thinking how great it would be to have that speed and stamina!!!!!!

Well, to Kim, Britt, Laura and anyone else feeling under the weather....GET WELL SOON!!bye

2008-11-19T21:11:00.001-08:00

Today was almost a polar opposite of yesterday. The stark grey clouds and exacting wind did not make a perfect running day. I did get out and run though, if only for 40 minutes. I have no idea what the mileage was because I was running to run and not planning out my path. I must say that it was 30 degrees out there and I am not kidding, it was COLD! the neighborhood in which I was running was a newer development. This meant that none of the trees were big or lush. There was little landscape that wasnt blown up turkeys or the local universities mascot. As usual after the 40 minutes I was torn as to continuing one or going inside. I have to say survival mode kicked in and I wanted out of that wind! I am still out there though, it is more than I thought I would do. I think I started running at the perfect time because I feel in love with it just in time to WANT to keep going through the terrible weather. Apparently I am going to be going out again tomorrow morning. I am not looking forward to it =because it is supposed to be colder. I guess I should get that pass to the gym and start running inside. It is just so discouraging thinking that I would have to run around the track over 24 times. It is so boring seeing the same thing over and over. It will be a struggle to continue. So, I either brave the cold and snow OR I go for boring and risk the ever so close excuse for not running that day....???? What's a girl to do? Yea, I dont know either. Well, i guess in the next few days we will find out because I am not sure I can run everyday in THIS> By the way, my hip, feeling much better and barely hurt today while running. I think what happened was that I took a longer "rest" after my 5k than I needed and my body thought I had finally given up all together. Guess what body...I'm not giving it up! HA! Take that! So i think that I have shown that I will keep going and my hip gave in. I mean it still hurts but I can handle this until I get to a chiropractor and then even then it will take another few months for him to help it completely. Good running...BYE

Just another day in paradise

2008-11-18T13:03:00.000-08:00

So it is Tuesday and my buddy came over and wathed the kids while i went running. It was a beautiful day out. rolling clouds, various blues in the sky, slight wind, and 34 degrees. Of course at first it is frigid to a body that has been in 72 degrees. However it was not long before my body (granted, I have the GOOD insulation) got used to the temperature and gave way. I went a different direction today which gave me a new chance to view different scenery. Being that it is so cold out, the trees are mostly bare. However there are some trees hanging onto their leaves as if possesive of of the life they hold. the colors are magnifecent reds, yellows, oranges, and all stages of browns. I was listening to my Rascal Flats music and really enjoying it. Somehow the first mile doesnt seem that dificult anymore. Sometimes my shins tell me I'm running but other than that if I stay at my pace I can really get into it. About 1.5 miles into my run my hip litterally went out of socket. Nearly put me on the ground in pain thinking I was goig to throw up. I moved it back in and what seemed to me to be up a bit. it was then a huge decision for me to either slowly walk home, keep going and run through the pain, or turn around and start home but doing the running as best I could. So I started back and kept the pace I had only I limped just a bit on the right side. It was at first very difficult and extremly painful. After the initial push to get running again it was easier to run than walk. 10 minutes later and almost home I actually started to feel some relief from the pain as if my hip had worked itself back into place. By the time I was in front of my house I wanted to keep going on....what is it with my body??? I did not keep going on though. I know that if I push too hard I could do some real damage as for now I think it may be Chiroprator time. I must say this, to any who find it hard to get that first push out the door on cold days, it is so invigorating and refreshing to be out there. I can not believe that it was 2 months ago that I hated this and could hardly breath when I was finished. I remember the day vividly that Cris and Becca had to cheer me on to finish. that was like 2 miles and now 2 miles is a beginer for me. I am most likely going to go out tonight to run again. In a time of political and moral unrest it is so nice to run and let God show me His magesty. What a miracle! BYE:)

2008-11-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

That 5k must have taken it out of me because I have been so tired this week. Although now that I think about it I did take a trip and fly to and from my sisters and the next day my son had surgery and then the next day was filled with school activities. Ok, so it may not have been just the run. I have been thinking a lot about running and not doing a whole lot of it. I need to get my bum out the door on these cold days. It is just a matter of what to do with the children. Anyway, I am planning another 5k in Dec but i think I will not be able to do more until the half marathon. Can you believe it is like 7 weeks away. I have my plane ticket and I am ready to go. I am thinking of doing a trial run of say 10 miles one day to see what if anything I should be prepared for. I would have my husband meet me at certain places along the route to make sure I am alright and then I will meet him at the finish. yes, I think this is what I will do. maybe the weekend of thanksgiving. That sounds good. Well, my eating habits have not changed much. Today for breakfast and lunch I had a big mac and small fries. Dinner was lo mein with chicken. I did kick caffeine...AGAIN! I noticed it did effect my moods and so I am going to stay away. Well not much more to report on the running scene so Bye for now.

Oh, my son is fine. He came out of surgery hard but he is much better now.

2008-11-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

The more I have thought about this weekends race the more I realize the importance of having people around you that are there to support and help you. I enjoyed this 5k so much better than last weekends. It seems like that was such a far distant event that it is hard to believe that it was just 8 days ago. I am going running with my sister tomorrow morning for the last time until the half marathon. It will be tough but I will once again be in love with the event that has started shaping my life in a way I never expected. What a marvelous experience! Really, I am so thankful to my sisters for their support and loving guidance. At one point yesterday in the race I thought "they should go on without me because I am holding them back" but the thing about having support is that each of us has difficulty at different stages of the race. Each of us felt like that. Yet in the end we all finished together and felt the accomplishment of doing something we couldnt have done a year ago. Thank you guys for slowing when I needed and for the constant talking and laughing that made it feel so short. Wheelchair guy will always be a fond memory even if I did make a fool of myself....I will be eating apples before even race, yes apples not bananas. I love you! For the people that we raced with, it was great. What a kind and fun group of people. I am not sure if it just a difference in areas but these guys were talkative before the race and everyone was supportive on the trail. Even as they were passing us on their way to the finish line. This weekend has been Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

2008-11-08T09:26:00.000-08:00

It is all over but seems like I could go on and on. It was a totally different experience. I enjoyed the entire race. I kept a steady pace and had a great time doing it! We talked and I actually totally had another runner that I bantered back and forth with on politics. It was so incredible. I did not feel pushed, or even to slow. There were some hills but they werent too bad especially when you have a strategy and other people to go with you. They said there were 300 people in the race and I came in 173 so I was not even last by far. My sisters were great to be with because they helped me be realistic and go at a decent pace. I beat my time and felt like I took a lot longer. That is how it is supposed to be. I feel incredible. Not the life changing feeling I thought a few months ago would take place but I think it is because I have had life changing experiences along the way. I looked down at my number (which I had on my stomach) and I couldnt see it!!!! Yea!!! I have been able to see my fat roll down there for a long time and now it is gone. What a wonderful time this has been and I have not even been here for 24 hours. I miss my family more than I thought I would. I wanted to see them at the finish waiting for me and cheering me on but that wasnt possible. I did have family there and that was super great. In fact two of my nieces came running toward us as we were about 1/8 of a mile to the finish. I feel fantastic but I need to go clean up now cause I stink! It's a good day! Bye
PS I will add pictures later tonight. We got some good ones. Yippee

2008-11-07T18:04:00.000-08:00

So, I am with my sisters now and getting ready for the 5k tomorrow. My plane ride was great seeing as for the first time in a long time I was able to buckle the seat belt without an extender. On my first ride it was super comfy. I had even a little extra on the belt part to pull. I didnt need it all. Yea! However on the second flight we were in a small plane and the belt was a bit tight but still got it buckled. For a long time I would "fake" having my belt on so the attendants wouldnt ask if it was on and then I would need to get an extender. In recent years I have not had a choice because a fake out was not an option. So I have had to ask for an extender. BUT NOT ANYMORE! I am so excited to be here with them and run with them. We are having a celebration tonight since I am here and we are having pizza. I am sure this is not the best idea for the run but we want it and we will pay for it later....maybe. I went with Rhonda to get our packets and my bib # is 939. I only tell you this because my bib # from last time was 838. WEIRD!! I am super excited. We will see how much easier I go on this one. I must concentrate on breathing and staying steady. Bye.

5k revisited

2008-11-04T07:19:00.000-08:00

So after having contemplated this weekends events I have spoken to my sister and I am going to give the 5k another try. This weekend I will be taking the bull, once again, by the horns and running in another 5k. This time I will be with my sisters and we will run together the three of us. I do not think my 4th sister will be able to make it but for the sake of my never wanting to do another race we are running it together. There are some psychological stuff I am going to need to work through and I think that the best way to do that is with people who truly understand what I am going through. I am going out today to run. I think that no matter what I will still run for me, it is the race that is not my thing. I finally got to a place where I gain a great benefit from running. I can release all the "stuff" out into my running and leave it on the road to get run over. So, there is hope for me yet. After this weekend we will see how much I am looking forward to our half marathon. Bye

2008-11-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

This is the shirt they gave for the race. Yea, like I am going to wear a bright orange sweatshirt with dead looking people on it. But it is a nice souviner
O.K., so most people stretch in different ways. This helps me with stress. It is also supposed to help with hip alignment.
The packet they give you before the race. It has your bib #, shirt, other upcoming events, coupons, and safety pins for your bib. Pretty cool!

2008-11-03T06:54:00.000-08:00

This is me starting the race. I am behind the guy waving about 3 people back next to the curb.

I am getting my chip to wear around my ankle. I had no idea what I was doing. On the far right, I am standing with a family i know from church. I am glad I had people cheering me on...
I am pinning on my Bib. I was nervous that I would do something wrong. I think I will wear my Bib on the back from now on. it was distracting at first.

2008-11-03T06:15:00.000-08:00

53.58

first things first

2008-11-03T05:40:00.000-08:00

I am writing this part of my blog on Monday morning because Saturday night I got home after midnight and Sunday I slept almost the whole day. So here is how the rest of my day went...

We got to the race sight and everyone was in costumes (almost everyone). So lots of people looked weird. I went into the club house and got my ankle chip so when I crossed the finish line it would process my time. They gave me a glow necklace for safety and safety pins to put my bib on the front of my shirt. We went outside where all the festivities were taking place (and there were a lot of festivities at this event) and walked around and I stretched. We ran into some people from church and it was good to have people there I knew other than family. When time came I went to get in line to start the race. Mom wanted to get a picture of me starting so Dad put me in the front of the pack of runners. This seemed ok at this point but this is one of those things I will never do again. We waited for the race to start and then it did.

It would be a race around a ommunity. They blocked off 3 miles worth of community streets. Because of this throughout the race there were people in the driveways cheering on the runners.

When the race started I was full of stress and anxiety. I started running with the pack. Fast and hard! This was the next thing I will never do again. So, even though I was running faster than I should or have before, people were passing me at a rate of two people per two steps i took. pretty soon I was breathing so hard it hurt and then I was having trouble breathing adn I felt like I didnt want the other runners to know i couldnt breathe well and I was having trouble. I was embarrassed and sad. I was nearly 1/2 mile into the race and wanting to quit. I knew I was not going to finish and that if I did I would be dead last and everyone would be laughing at me. This was so horrible. I was all alone with people running around me seemingly irritated that I was in their way. THen it got worse! People who entered the race as walkers started passing me. Yep, I was in a bad bad place at this point. I had worked so hard and looked forward to this moment and it was terrible. I was sad, frustrated, embarrassed, and SLOW! I started crying. Now when you are running and already breathing too hard crying is a VERY bad thing. I started into a full anxiety attack and close to hyperventilation. People in their driveways were saying things like "good job" and "keep going" and I just knew that they knew I was not doing a good job and that I wouldnt keep going. This I knew also! I tried to put my headset on and listen to my Robinson Crusoe. Yea, right! No can do, my head was too loud for any music or talk. At mile 1 1/2 the majority or runners were passing me in droves. All going back to the finish and I still had a long road ahead of me. I heard the first person through the finish line at 16 minutes. I couldnt get it together. I cam around a corner and there were two volunteer workers to show us the path we needed to take. I asked the woman "am I the last person? is there anyone behind me?" She very kindly said "there are people behind you but it doesnt matter, you are doing great." Again the self destructive talk started in my mind. Pretty soon the people she mentioned that were behind me were passing me also. At about 2 1/2 miles I was trying hard to concentrate on my breathing and steps when all of a sudden out of nowhere a man came running at me....it was my dad. He said hey boo, you are doing good. I thought I would come and give you support and he said a few other things also. At the point he came towards me I went into another anxiety attack. Breathing was labored again and I felt like I was going to die. Dad said, do you want me to leave and I said yes! I knew it was rude but the thought that my dad ran from the finish line even faster than me made me feel like an even bigger loser. He vanished as quickly as he came. I wa glad he didnt stick around to hear my sobs and breathing. I no sooner was in full crying than I passed a home where the parents and one child were sitting in their driveway and they started clapping and cheering really loud. I looked at them and realized there was noone else around and they were clapping for me. I said a quick thanks and tried to pull it together. About 5 minutes later I could see the finish. I could see all the people standing around and I just knew they would all laugh when I came in because they had finished so long before. As I got closer I heard the loud speaker giving out prizes and winnings. Then the man said " Let's stop for a minute and recognize Rebecca Altman coming into the finish. It is her first 5k." At this, everyone started clapping and cheering. I started crying and went under the finish line. I was spent! I was crying! People were coming to me saying good job and congratulations. Then, and this was a huge surprise, they announced the next people finishing the race. I wasnt the last!

People were taking pictures and eating and drinking. There was a party going on around me. They had lots of stuff happening. There was a table with food and drinks and Cris, mom and dad went over. I just wanted to leave. I wanted as far away as I could get. I just wanted out! So we left. I couldnt speak, I didnt want to cry again but I was so upset. We got into the car and I just wanted to go home and hide. Never to run again,never talk to anyone about this horrid night. 30 minutes later as we were driving it dawned on me that 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a fatal illness. I wasnt supposed to live. Then, after they saved my life I wasnt to walk again. Yet, less than 2 years later I was running in a 5k race. At this point I started feeling a bit better.

2008-11-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

i AM SO NERVOUS THAT i COULDNT BREATHE AND i \HAD TO TAKE A WALK AND NOW i AM STRETCHING AND i CANT CATCH MY BREATH. tHIS IS THE HARDEST THING EVER. sOMEONE TOLD ME THE HARDEST THING WOULD BE FOR ME TO START BUT THAT IS NOT TRUE. tHE FIRST TIME i RAN/WALKED WAS EASY COMPARED TO THIS. I AM SERIOUS THAT i CANT HARDLY BREATHE. I HAVE ALMOST GONE INTO FULL BLOWN ANXIETY ATTACKS THREE TIMES IN THA LAST HOUR. IT IS A GOOD THING MY THERAPIST TAUGHT ME HOW TO BREATHE THROUGH IT BEFORE IT GETS TOO BAD. I AM HOPING THIS IS THE WORST OF THE NERVOUSNESS. I WILL HAVE MY PARENTS THE AND CRIS AND SO I AM HOPING THEY CAN HELP CALM ME DOWN BUT SO FAR THEY ARE NO GOOD. OH MY GOSH I AM TYPING IN CAPS AND DIDNT NOTICE. SORRY. I CAN DO THIS! gOD WILL BE WITH ME! HE IS WITH ME! I COULDNT GET A HOLD OF MY SISTERS FOR SUPPORT SO I HAD TO PRAY WHILE I WAS WALKING. NORMALLY STRETCHING AND WALKING HELP ME TO RELAX BUT THAT IS JUST NOT THE CASE. I HOPE I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET THERE. HOW I FEEL IN THE RACE. OH MY GOODNESS...............

5k here I come

2008-11-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

So i ran Friday and it was good and all that. Sorry I did not blog it, I ran 3 miles and went two major hills. I have some discomfort in my hip blah blah blah....Here is the thing

Today is my 5k and I am extremely nervous! I went to the store to register for the race and the first guy there was a bit snippy and i thought "oh great, they are looking at the fat girl and thinking she has no business being in our store." So after we got to the right place to sign up a young man came over to help us. He was incredibly nice. Ed is his name and he was smiling and friendly and helpful. He wished me good luck on my first time out and gave me a coupon for the next time I am in the store. i am going to write him and thank him because I was on the verge of a full blown anxiety attack when i went in and his manor and kindness was calming. But I did it! I have my tee shirt and my tag and all the goodies for the race. It is a late starter so i wont be home until late tonight but I have a feeling I will be charged up enough to last until I write. I really was so so so nervous. I was feeling so low and discouraged. I am still nervous for the race because I dont know what to expect. I have no idea the terrain and how comfortable I will be with running with other people. My whole body is screaming out and I am sitting here quiet. Does that make since? Is it hard to think that I am SO out of my element that I dont even want to go? I know I can run 3.1 miles because I do it everyday now. So do I need to prove it by running with people who think I am a joke? they actually put me in a different category because of my weight. I am a "cruiser" because I am over 150lbs. Is that insane??? I may never be that weight, I dont WANT to be that small. Will I always be the fat one? Oh my gosh, I am so nervous!!! What if I am the last one, what if I come in after they have all shut down? What if someone pushes me to get out of the way? Oh, I am so incredibly nervous!

I need to go eat before I pass out.

Bye

2008-10-30T18:04:00.000-07:00

It was only 30 degrees this morning and I WAS NOT running in that. So I skipped out and since my parents are in town I took a nap. It was so nice. I think my body knew I didnt have to listen for any babies crying and I went all the way to happy sleep land. I must say that my blister and shin feel better and I look forward to getting out tomorrow morning. It is going to be Halloween and so i think I should go a bit further just in case I accidentally eat some of the childrens candy. It got busy fast for me after that and I forgot to eat breakfast and by the time I remembered that it was lunch time i figured we would eat dinner soon so I just went without. At 5:15 as we were headed out for the pumpkin patch the children started making hungry sounds and I thought it best to skip the patch and go straight for food. So we set out with my parents for a cute small little German place that serves THE BEST German food ever. Authentic and delicious. I had saurbraten. yummy. Cris had yagerscnitzel (spelling is not right) and I will get that next time. After that we all had a german treat. It was hard to find a treat that was not alcohol filled. Almost could not resist the rum balls. They looked mighty tasty. But I ended up getting a little ditty that looks like an eclair. Oh boy, did we enjoy ourselves. So my food journal looks something like

1 16oz coke

1 12oz dr.pepper

4 tim hortons doughnut holes

saurbraten and eclair

Bye

Baby its cold outside

2008-10-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

Today it was chilly...actually it was just plain cold! When I stepped out to run it was 47 degrees. Yes, I did run. I went a total of 3.5 miles today. I started paying attention to when things happened. For instance, I watched the house I passed when I noticed I wasnt noticing anything about my body and running. It was 1.2 miles into the run and I felt good. The kind of good that makes you WANT to run. The kind that makes you go further and faster. I improved my technique today. I started very carefully pushing my feet out in front of me further which gave me bigger strides and gave me the faster more efficient part. I felt good being out on my run and having a good time. I have been kind of sick lately with a sore throat and cough and that general junk. I thought that being out in cold air would hurt my throat but it didnt hurt at all, even after I ran. that was cool! Also, and this is big, I caught myself LISTENING to my book on cd. Yes, Robinson Crusoe never sounded so good as today. I found I was listening and actually hearing what was going on. these things were wonderful. I am so excited for my 5k that I can hardly stand it.I also noted that I enjoy being alone! I am not an alone kind of person until recently. It is nice to be by yourself and have nature surround you. Something about it brings me closer to the creator of all things. I did dodge a dead roadkill that I couldnt identify. Yuck! Luckily it had been gone for long enough that odor had long since been gone. I may have thrown up if I had to run through stink. I ran passed an accident with 2 ambulances and a fire truck. Looked like a child was trapped in the back of a totaled van and the driver of the car that hit them was not moving and it was pretty grim. I almost stopped to watch but figured I would rather run that stop. A bunch of teenage boys passed by me twice. On the second time around they yelled out the window "hey, fat B*#%@*". I was glad I was almost finished and home because even though they were young and clearly not the brightest batch of bananas, it hurt and made me VERY discouraged. It only bothered me for a moment because then I came to a point where I could see where I had been and I was impressed with myself. Hills around here are killers and I took on several and conquered every time. Well, I have a huge blister on the bottom of my foot and have no idea why. My left shin is once again in pain but I am going to make a run for 4 miles tomorrow. I mapped it out and have it all in my head. I was thinking earlier that I might sit tomorrow out for the pain and not wanting an injury but the race is close and I want to be so ready it seems easy. I cant believe I am even saying it is easy at any point. It was only a matter 8 weeks ago that I started this and hated it more than I could express. Wow, I cant believe how far I have come. Enjoy the journey, BYE

"Trouble right here in river city"

2008-10-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a while since I wrote and that is because it has been a while since I ran. Last run was with my friend Teresa and I have not been able to go again. here's the deal, it is so cold out that I feel my children shouldnt be out there with me. I dont have anyone to watch my children and therefore a big fat excuse ensues. It really is just me I am sure. I was feeling down and tired on Saturday and so I didnt go then. Not running makes me more tired and the longer I go between runs the harder it is to convince the inner me that I can. I want to sign up at the YMCA. It is pretty expensive so I am looking into a scholarship through them. We will see. I will do that today! I am once again feeling fat and lazy and unable to accomplish my goals. Our life is so chaotic right now that it seems all elements are against my success. The 5k is SOON and I am not sure I am ready. I will go tonight after the children go to bed and run even if I have to run in the dark! This is my goal and now that it is out there I feel a bit responsible for completing it. i am excited that my parents are coming into town soon and maybe I can lay the children on them in the mornings while I go run. Hey, that is great! I am actually excited about that idea. It is after they leave that will be an issue. I will figure something out, I guess.Bye

just thoughts jotted down

2008-10-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

While chaos struggles around me, I am at peace. While elements rage to slow me, I continue through. As the pain and tears stream from my body, my mind sings praise. When I see what I can do, I give thanks.

It is a beautiful day>not outside but in. In my heart I see the beauty that comes from my persistence and hard work. I am so happy about the choices I have made. there have been few times in my life when I KNEW I took the right path and was staying the course. I believe right now is MY time!

It keeps getting better

2008-10-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

I dropped my children off today with a good friend. I wanted to go running without a stroller and it turned out fabulously. I think I am going to have to find a way to have them watched at least twice a week. Really, it made a difference. Maybe I will just have to go out very early and my husband will be there when I am gone. This is NOT an idea I really love as I am devoted to getting my rest. We'll see how it goes and see if I can make a deal with someone close so I can have me time alone. I went to another friends house and we went together to do our run. Her block is .90miles around and we went around 4 times. Our first time was a walker. It wasnt at a terribly fast pace but we were moving at a nice pace. After about 5 minutes I was difficult to carry on a conversation. We were still able to talk but it was heavy breathing and not a fast conversation by any means. Our second time around we ran. it was a nice pace for a run and I felt like it was my pace to a t. our third time around we walked again and it was a nice pace as well. On our fourth time around it was a run for most of the .90 miles. So I figure I ran for about .75 miles of the almost mile. Anyway it ends up being 3.6 miles that we went total. Yippee. I thought that I might go out later tonight when we are going to be near a park. But once I found that we had gone over 3 miles I decided not to push it. My left shin was really in pain. After the second time around it was very hard to ignore the pain shooting in my leg. The friend that I went with today gave me some ideas on how to help heal and prevent the shin injuries. Since I am willing to try anything I am going to do these exercises and see how it goes. I really think that if nothing else these will help me stretch correctly and align my hips. Listen, if someone told me that eating a bug would get rid of shin pain I would try it. Really! I makes it difficult to want to go further and keep yourself going ahead. I did something TERRIBLE today. the secret is held within my food journal. I was bad. Like, the badest bad you can be with a food journal. I know that my trainer is going to laugh and have a stern talk with me about my day.

Here it is

Food journal:

1 peanut butter and homemade jam sandwich

2 Dr.peppers

nothing

at 8pm I had a salad from a Mexican place. Salad,pork,sour cream,cheese,black beans,corn,tomatoes and a sauce

THEN

1bowl of pumpkin pie ice cream

I know I know! But I will say this.....wahoo. the salad and ice cream was really delicious. Although I did pay for not eating the whole day. My blood sugar was all over the place and I felt horrible.

Listen to this....I am so so so excited for my upcoming 5k run!!!!! I am really going to do this and do it well I think. Those of you who know me should know that I am not one to exercise and now to be really into it is so incredible. Once again, I need to thank my sisters for keeping this dream alive and helping it feel doable. Keep going Rhonda, Robin, Renea, you guys ROCK!!!

training for 1/2 marathon

2008-10-22T15:44:00.000-07:00

this is the new schedule I am on in my training. I am already on week 2 and so on Saturday I will be kickin up to 4 miles....yikes! I am still sore in my shins but not so bad. I didn't get the walk run I was hoping for today but no fear I was running the basement and lovin it. I guess to run the basement for 45 minutes equals the same thing anyway. I am not so talkative today so for now...BYE

Week	Monday	Tuesday TT	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
1	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	3 miles
2	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	4 miles
3	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	5 miles
4	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	2.5 miles
5	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	6.5 miles
6	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	3 miles with MM
7	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	8 miles
8	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	3 miles with MM
9	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	9.5 miles
10	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	4 miles
11	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	11 miles
12	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	4 miles with MM
13	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	12.5 miles
14	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	4 miles with MM
15	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	14 miles
16	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	5 miles
17	walk/xt 40 min	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	run 30-45 min	walk or XT	off	Half Marathon

off day for xt

2008-10-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

Today is an off day and when I woke up I found out why he has us xt every other day. It is because I was surprisingly sore. My hips were sore and my back is sore. The first step out of bed I felt like I was 100years old. I was moaning and squinting and holding on to things for the first 5-6 steps. And I was famished! I hate eating breakfast. I have never enjoyed breakfast foods and generally my tummy gets upset if I eat any earlier than an hour after I get up. Not today though, I got out of bed hungry and went right to work on oatmeal. Hearty, yummy and good for you. I am not complaining about the stiffness and soreness. It doesn't bother me too much but I can tell I should not run today. So I will do some kind of strength training today although I have not a clue what I will do at this point. I am so looking forward to running on Thursday with a friend I have not ever before had join me in a run. She may end up being a key motivator in this journey. So it is almost lunch time and I am not hungry but I have been drinking more water than I normally do at this time of day. All of these are good signs that my body is starting to adjust to our new lifestyle. This could be the most exciting thing that has happened yet. Only because if my body adjusts it will be easier to continue on this journey long after Vegas. I think I have become to companioned with running to ever give it up or stop. what a shocker!!

Food Journal

1 cup oatmeal with blueberries and milk (10 oz)

1 cherry pepsi

one cheese burger

3 slices of corned beef

2 cups cooked cabbage

1 cup steamed baby squash

1/2 piece bread with butter

1/2 bowl pumpkin pie ice cream

Bye for now

why muscles?

2008-10-20T17:30:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who writes support. I really look forward to reading the comments. Since I was so proud of myself I expect everyone else to be also and it is never old to hear how good I am doing. Especially on days unlike today when I feel horrible. Thanks

So I thought that I would be able to go out with no problem and run the 3 miles straight again. Well, I did run the 3 miles again today and I found it refreshing and fun and at times reflective. However, it was not as easy as Friday. I guess, for some reason, my muscles think they have aa say in how I feel. So about 1 mile into the run my shins started in again. BUT, this time I know that after a few days of 3 milers they will become accustom to the torture. They dont hurt much after the run. The bummer about today was that it took me longer. I went 3 miles and it took me right up to 1hour. I am so glad for good friends who are helping me with the children. I really cant do the run with kids. So my buddies watched the children while I ran. It was great. Really, there is something to be said for running by yourself and listening to a book and looking at the wonderful creations around. I did enjoy this run today. Here is another great thing.....I was not out of breathe when I finished. I was definitely breathing harder but I wasn't feeling like I was going to pass out at the end. I like that feeling! The program states that every other day I do the 3 milers and on the off days I cross train (xt). I have not put together a good xt routine so I think I will run easier on the off days unless it starts hurting. At that point I will take the necessary days off. All the running advice I have seen is that you need to listen to your body. You should not go with the old school advice of running through the pain. It is important to get the rest you need and take care of your body. So tomorrow I will walk/slow run a mile or so but I wont do another long run til Wed. Any ideas on how to shield my face? My head sweats bad and so a hat is kind of out of the question but sunglasses fog up...the sun is really in my face and hurts my eyes. It also makes me look down instead of out. This makes your body pull down instead of forward. Any ideas will be helpful!

Bye

Food journal

bowl of strawberry mini wheat's-seriously most of the bowl was full

1 1/2 cup milk

2cherry pepsi's

a taco and chalupa from taco bell

2 cups of rice

1 1/2 cups spicy beef with onion,carrot, water chestnuts

I think we are going to have pumpkin pie ice cream later tonight.

I am trying to put my jewelry up so people can see and buy items but I am not computer savvy and have been having issues. Soon I promise. I went online today and found that airline tickets have gone down almost $200. I am so happy for the little miracles that are making this possible..BYE

UNBELIEVEABLE

2008-10-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

You are never going to believe this!!! I did a 6 mile run walk yesterday. I walked at a fast pace (fast enough that I couldn't keep on a conversation slow enough not to be running) and went 3 miles and then started running and went another 3 miles WITHOUT STOPPING OR WALKING! I am so proud of myself today. I am a bit sore but for the most part I am in fabulous shape. The only reason I stopped at 3 miles running was that I had to pick up the children. I was so afraid to go out because I had not gone as much as I should this past week and then I got out there and Yippee!!!! I am now at the point where I ca look at other stuff and enjoy the run. It was really fun! I am going to finish this later cause I am really happy with this and I want to write more but cant with the children awake. Bye

Ok, it is later and I can finally write. It was two days ago and now I am starting to not believe that I did it. here is the weird thing, I want to run 3 miles tomorrow. I think I will. For me the key is to warm up with a walk. So I think for my 5k next week I will take a nice walk 20 minutes before the run and then I will be warmed up. If anyone has any good suggestions for this I would love to hear them. So On Friday I was going out without anyone else but my kids. As I have said it is hard to run or even walk with a stroller and two kids. So I took a walk to my friends house and went with the stroller and kids the 3 miles to her house. This was the fast walk. It was difficult because the double stroller I have is hard to push with my older child in the front. It makes it hard to control and therefore I put more energy into moving forward. So we were sweating when we got there but I was feeling the need to go further. So I asked if she would watch the kids while I ran home and got the van to come get them. I was SOOOOO nervous. I was going to be going a different direction than we had come to make it shorter (I thought) and faster so she wasnt stuck with the kids for too long. It was going to mean running on a major road. that means lots of people and eyes and opinions on the fat girl running. I had to keep my mind on other things so as not to think about the eyes and opinions. I must admit that I did think about it a lot more than I care to admit but having people watching kind of pushed me on. I wanted them to see me really running and not just walking. I wanted the people to see me and say "wow, good for her, look at her go", even if they were laughing at the same time. The one and only thing I will do different tomorrow when I make the run again is water. It is so important to have water with me when I run. About 2 miles into my run I became very thirsty and that isnt good. I knew I had a long road ahead, I didnt know the exact mileage at this point, and I didnt want to have to give up or stop to rest. So I kept going but had to have a neighbor get me water quickly. I will not run without water again. When I got the van and retraced my path I was amazed and elated. I cant believe I did this!

NO ONE ever again can say to me "I can;t do it because I am too fat" or "I am too embarrassed". If I could accomplish what I did Friday I know that ANYONE can do it too. I would not have believed it a few months ago and I am sure the progress will continue to increase but at this point I am ecstatic with myself. It is amazing how possible it all seems now. I was nervous for the 5k. and probably will be the day of, but it no longer seems impossible or even hard. I felt good after the run. I didnt just slouch down on a chair exhausted and collapse like I did a couple eeks ago. I felt good! The next day my upper legs were wobbly and weak but nothing was sore. UNBELIEVABLE!!!! Seriously, can you believe it? I mean really? How great is this?

I just want to tell everyone! If I feel this good about 3 miles running straight can you imagine how it will feel when I finish the 5k and then the 10k and then the grand Mother of all runs.........I am going to cry I am so happy and excited> Well, I am going to go for now but check back tomorrow because I am doing it again. My new schedule will be run 3 miles twice a week. The rest of the time run for the 45 minutes. Oh, I will post the new Jeff Galloway schedule since it has changed. I did the 3 miles in 45 minutes so I guess I will be doing the 3 miles every day. I cant believe it! I really did it! Wow!!!!! Bye, good running

surprise visitor.....YUCK!

2008-10-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

I went out this morning ONLY because my buddy Mel showed up at my door. She has been having some really big medical stuff lately and she STILL comes to get me every morning. She is a trooper! So today we were both feeling the yucky blues and went for almost a mile and I was going to go more but just couldn't. We went pretty slow today as my baby was grouchy and kept stopping and screaming. At least we got out and now that I know what is going on I can take something and maybe go out later. Maybe I will call Suzanne? and see if she wants to go tonight. I am sure I spelled her name wrong, I am not good at spelling as you can tell. I got home after eating Chinese and found out why I am not myself. Yep my happy little (actually HUGE!!!) monthly visitor. I don't know why people call it that. I mean if we are going to refer to it in a human form I would like to rename mine the psychopath, mass murdering community stalker with attitude! OR "pmmcsa"! Anyway, i have had lots of water a Dr pepper, and chicken lo mien from heavens Chinese carry out. Yep, this day is going well. Catch ya later.Bye

who's the runner?????

2008-10-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

260

I am not sure if you guessed it or not but I have lost 8lbs!!!! I had a routine physical today and when they weighed me I was down by 8lbs. How fabulous is that? If this keeps up I will be at my ideal weight by April 2011! Ok so that sounds terrible. we wont focus on that....

Food journal:

couldn't eat til after check up

big salad with romaine, carrots, mushrooms and ranch

3 12oz cranberry splash sierra mist

I'm tired

2008-10-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

You caught me! Clearly I took a few days off. Not necessarily premeditated but certainly I was out of commission. So look to the future.....Today I went out and did a nice walking mile and then put ON the running shoes and took off. I did the mile in 14 minutes. I ran all of the mile but 1 minute. It felt good to be back in a place I am happy with again. I am coming up on my 5k and and I want to be able to do it in 45 minutes with a 5 minute cushion. It was a crazy weekend and I am exhausted. So now you know I am still alive and trekking I will leave it at that.

I am going to post my jewelry on my blog for all those interested in it. I will have pictures of those I have made in the past. My order time and cost depends on the piece and where you live. Hopefully tonight I will have that post ready.

I just looked over at my daughter who is supposed to be napping and she is smelling her feet and making weird faces. LOL...

Anyway, the money made from bracelets and necklaces will be going to get me to the marathon in January. Thanks for your support. bye

Food Journal:

breakfast,

Biscuit, egg, sausage patty and one pancake

No lunch

yip, I'm feelin it!

2008-10-07T09:19:00.001-07:00

So I went out today fully intending on running. So we woke up late and got a very late start to the day and I was trying to rush. Rushing never works with kids> anyway, when we got to my friends house the stress from yesterday hit full force. All in my lower back. that is where I tend to carry stress and after that I just explode. So I decided to do a full 2 miles today. One would be a nice paced walk but enough to get my heart going a bit and the next would be a full on run with a bit of walking. This is what I did. On mile 2 I ran 2 minutes and walked one for 10 minutes and then I walked one minute and ran one minute. It felt good. I ended up doing about 1/8 mile cool down because I knew I would hurt if I didn't. It felt good and some of the tension in my lower back is gone. I am so thankful I have an outlet now to reduce that stress. I may end up going back out to help with more of the tension later today. I keep thinking (even though I try not to) of the 13 miles I have committed to run. I wonder how it is possible that people do 26? How will I do 13? I know I will if it kills me, but it is still perplexing to me at this stage.

P.S. I finished the 2nd mile in 14 1/2 minutes!~!~!~!~!

Food journal:

3/4 cup white rice

1 cup seasme chicken

thats it for now. It is only 12:38pm so there will be more later I am sure BYE

1 piece of pie choc peanut btr

1 cup rice

1 1/2 cup beef with broccoli,bamboo,onion,carrots,and garlic sauce

1 piece of homemade wheat bread with my strawberry jam

Hospital visit for my baby

2008-10-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

I totally neglected yesterday. So sorry. I had a Dr.'s visit (hospital) in the morning for Blake and that went as planned. He is having surgery at the beginning of November. It has doubled in size in the two weeks since the original Dr.'s visit. Thanks to Emily who came to the visit for moral support. Cris took his lunch hour and came also. I did better than I thought I would. But it wasn't surgery so we shall see. Then it was also his (Blake's) birthday so we went to get pie for the evening and set up to go to the pumpkin patch with friends. By the time I got home it was time to get ready to go to the patch. We had so much fun I will have to post a picture of all of us. However this is NOT the purpose of this blog. So here goes the fun stuff. We did get out to...........walk. It would be fair to say that my normal mile is 18-19 minutes. LONG! We went 1 mile and it took us 28 minutes. Yes, we were not going fast by any stretch of the imagination. But it was a walk none the less. As it turns out this day was supposed to be the run day. Oops! When we got home we had pie with friends and let the kids play. It was a fun day but slightly unproductive in my goals. Tomorrow will be better.

Food Journal:

8oz milk

cup of chili

1/2 a baked potato

1cake doughnut

1apple juice 4oz

1 piece of chocolate peanut butter pie

1 cup white rice

1 cup hunan beef

bowl of hot and sour soup

1/2 broccoli steamed

Thats it for today. I will say that nothing hurt on my walk! ha ha ha! It felt good though. It was a day full of stressful things and i think I did really well at not being stressed. I held it together well. Yea for me. Bye

2008-10-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

food journal:

1 1/2 cup oatmeal with 1 tsp sugar and a splash of milk

6oz apple cider

2 tacos hard shell 1 tblspn meat sprinkle cheese

2 bites of plain hamburger seriously plain no bun no nothing

1 caffeine free Pepsi

2 roasted marshmellows

Hope I dont regret 2 marshmellows tomorrow morning. Blake goes in to the surgery consultant tomorrow....pray for the best.

Bye

Right after a run

2008-10-04T16:35:00.000-07:00

This entry will be a soft veiw of what actually took place. I had much more to say right after. I now know that I should always write right after a run. I had my 2.25 mile distance today and I did just that. I went through my neighborhood and so I had the hills to contend with as I struggled. Struggle I did!!! The first mile was alright as I took my time and went at a nice fast pace walk. Then at the 1 mile mark I started the run......At first it was fine and I was doing great. I was breathing well and keeping my head up. Then I hit a point where I felt I couldn't do it anymore, and I called both sisters and no one was home so I called my husband. By this time I was in anxiety mode. I started to hyperventilate and was having a really awful time breathing. I had to completely concentrate on breathing in and out and at the same time from somewhere in the back of my brain I continued the run. My husband and daughter were very helpful, in fact they are the reason I went on. My DH and daughter were both saying "you can do it" which is our family theme and we say it to the children all the time. I had one last humongous hill left. It is a dozy people I mean it HATES me. I almost did not get all the way up but I kept going and breathing and running and breathing and focusing on my husbands voice and breathing. As I turned the corner of my street my husband and daughter were in the front yard saying "you can do it" and cheering. I even think, but cant be sure, my husband had a white flag he was waving. There are two new pictures of me on the site one is the way I looked ( although I felt a million times worse) and the other is about 5 minutes after my run was over. you may think I was giving my hubby a dirty look but in fact I was still scowling from the torture I just self inflicted. All in all I went 2.30 miles and I am proud of every step but it SUCKED! I came in the house fully knowing I was going to quit and call my sisters and resign as gracefully as I could. I figured I was still in one piece and that is good enough for me. Time and reason has since overcome my quick judgement and I will continue on the path. Currently (5 hours later) I have a migraine headache, kids screaming, bathing the kids and Chipotle salad awaiting my private time in 15 minutes. Yep bed time is early tonight my friends! So kudos to all those souls who run and enjoy. I may die trying to get to 3 miles.....let alone 13 miles. Ok, lets not get ahead of myself. Bye

Food Journal:

12oz milk 8:30am

1 breakfast croissant from fast food 8:45am

1/2 cup peanuts 1:45pm

2 8oz caffeine free pepsi's 3:30 & 4:15

1 chipotle salad waiting with cheese, pork, salsa, and lettuce - who knows when

cookin with Tahini

2008-10-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

Let us start today with the food journal:

2 grapes 9:00am

1 cup soup-beef,broth,carrots,potatoes,mushrooms 9:00am

1/2 cup roasted peanuts 10:45

6 chick fil a nuggets with Polynesian sauce 12:15pm

20 oz Dr Pepper 12:15pm

5 yogurt covered raisins 6:00pm

2 cups above soup 8:00pm

A new day a new way to do the walking. Today was a walk only day. I slept right through my friend at my door. Seriously, never heard a thing. Oops, I really must have been tired. So I waited until we were ready to go to soccer practice. We went early and we all went walking together. My oldest is not used to doing this since we do it in the morning. She started complaining about 5 minutes into the walk. That did make it harder than usual. She stopped a lot and went slower so I did not get the complete workout I normally would have. For this reason I went longer. I think this will give me more incentive to go in the morning. I may do a bit of running in the basement tonight. There is a debate I am looking forward to watching and so I will most likely run in place while watching. I am going to need to go to the store and get an insert to put into my right shoe to help the over pronate. This way my foot wont hurt too much. I cant wait until we run the 5k. It is only a few weeks away and I am so looking forward to finishing THIS step in my journey. I am reading a fabulous book right now and it is on CD and I think I will be able to concentrate on it when running. So I may download the book and listen when I am out. I think it will give me a push to be out more and go farther, then again maybe that isn't a good thing. I went grocery shopping today and bought healthier things to eat. I am pretty good at knowing what things we should and shouldn't be eating. I am a pretty good cook and used to make my own bread and noodles and other things that are healthier. I cant do these things anymore - Energy- and so the items I bought are healthy but easier. We are going to have Tilapia with tahini sauce, ham and potato soup, basil chicken over whole wheat angel hair pasta,Ground turkey casserole etc...Don't those sound yummy. Any other good recipes that we might like are always welcome. Change things up a bit. The weather is so fabulous and cool. It was probably 58 when we went walking tonight. And the leaves are turning and it is getting so wonderfully perfect outside. I wish this would last for a long time but I know it will change all too soon. Have a good one....Bye

James Brown kinda day

2008-10-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

"I feel good, na na na na na na na, I knew that I would, na na na na na na na, so good ! ! so nice ! ! I did it" Ok so i tweaked the song a bit but that is literally what I was singing at the top of the big hill. I did my walk/run by myself today. My friend watched my children so I could go it alone. It was SO nice! I am a little discouraged though, when I think about how much I go right now and how much I need to be going in January......it is discouraging. However, as I was running I remembered something I saw online, a life marathoner did a spot on utube and gave advice to people training. He said to keep my elbows up and out instead of them crossing my body when I walk/run this pulls momentum forward instead of side to side. This is a great help. The second and more important point was to always look up and forward. This too pulls you r momentum forward instead of down. I kept thinking this over and over and started thinking that in life if you keep looking down you never see the beauty ahead. We must look forward to see the future, looking down keeps us in the present. We must not look so far ahead that we get discouraged by the distance, but look to the immediate future and see what beauty lies there for you to enjoy. This is my life lesson for the day...probably week....who am I kidding, this is the only life lesson your gonna get here!

Food journal :

1 6oz yoplait yogurt

3 8in small tacos-3tblsp meat, lettuce, tom, sprinkle cheese

1 24oz Dr.Pepper

1 24 oz IntaJuice 8pm

1 cup mashed potatoes 8:30pm

1 cup beef with mushroom gravy 8:30pm

My aches today were simple ones. My outer right ankle and my back. For some reason my back has become a factor in this running. I think some core training will help with that. Poor back it is still carrying 266lbs!!!!

Well today is DEFINITELY shower day so gotta go. Bye

A shower head

2008-09-30T17:57:00.000-07:00

Most days are marked by shower or no shower. You don't want to know each day the answer, I am sure. However there are days when you go from running to all the other events throughout the day. We needed groceries (which as a side note I never did get) and so my run/walk partner decided to go to the store right after. It was to be a short trip and I knew what I was going for so I thought "shower later, shop now". NOT A GOOD IDEA! I did a 45 minute walk, 20 minutes of that was a warm up and kind of slow, 25 was a nice fast paced walk. I was sweaty! Really sweaty! We went from there to the store and then we were hungry and went to get a bite to eat. Then we went home and my baby needed a nap. I cant pass up the much desired nap time when I can. And I could, and I did. The afternoon and evening got crazy form there. So here I am writing all yucky, sweaty and smilin!

Food journal first:

12oz glass milk - no chocolate

10 pretzel sicks - thin small

1 gyro

5-6 fries

1 12oz root beer

40 pretzel sticks

2 12oz caffeine free Pepsi's

1 piece pizza

As the night is not actually over I can only say that is all for now.......My hubby suggested DQ

My walk was just that today. I did 2 separate walks, one fast and one slower. It was nice to get going faster, it actually felt good to hit it fast. This particular route is probably my favorite. It is a well established neighborhood with large trees and beautiful homes. I have come to know some of the people that walk at the same time of day. So I not only enjoyed my walk but I enjoyed all of my surroundings. My left foot is still giving me trouble where I think I injured it early this year but other than that I was in good shape. I did my 60 crunches right after the run and found it harder to do then than if I wait until later. I think my back needs the break. I have set the date and time for my first 5k and I am excited. it is a few weeks away and farther away than I would like but it is set none the less. I am excited to working with a trainer. Still completely intimidated but loving it at the same time. I guess this sums up my life. I didnt get to work on the jewelry last night and I was hoping I could tonight but I have a headache and am probably going to bed soon. Bye

Jeckal and Hyde revisited

2008-09-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, well, today has been one for the records. I feel once again like I have two personalities. I love this run/walk program Jeff Galloway has put together. Really, the best part is I feel accomplished when I follow his plan. He makes it that way I think. I have found that it is after the one mile mark that I start to enjoy the run. So today, even though this is not exactly what he suggests I walked one mile at a reasonable pace. Then I went on my actual one mile and did the 15 run 45 walk. After I was done I was tired but not exhausted and I felt as though I could go another mile or so. So for me I just need to take it easy that first mile and then BAM it kicks into gear. Also, I am starting today to journal all the things that go into my mouth. Here goes: 12oz 2% milk with 1/2tsp chocolate syrup, 1 piece of whole wheat toast with a small amount of real butter, 3 8oz Dr.Peppers, 1 1/2 bread sticks from olive garden, a large salad from the same and 1/12 bowls of Zoppa Toscona soup, 1 Andes mint I have also had probably 32-40oz of water and I have not made dinner yet. It is our family night and we usually have some kind of treat at the end of the night and so that will be a big one but I can try to watch what it is and not have it be too bad. I can update the food journal later as well. I have started doing crunches after my walk/run routine I am up to 60. That is really good for me and the last 5-7 are killers! I think we will go out pumpkin hunting tonight so we will all get a lot of walking in this evening. A word about shoes...holy COW do they make a difference. I will forever be buying specific running shoes from a running store. It is embarrassing at first but it is SOOOO worth it in the end. I'm even thinking about getting a new pair a month before the marathon so I have all the benefit of the cushion. Yea, right rebecca where can I pull THAT money from. Sometimes I crack myself up! i know you are looking forward with great anticipation for me to start selling jewelry cause I know you are all going to want to buy them......I start them tonight and so I will be ready for orders soon. Just kidding, but I really am going to start tonight on making bracelets and necklaces to sell. My neighbor thinks she can get me a booth at a school function for me to sell there. Wont that be marvelous??? I am going to have a friend take my picture before running and after running tomorrow so look forward to seeing me happy and totally wiped out. For now, Bye

Updating the food journal: 1 gyro from the best Greek place in town, 1 8oz root beer, 5fries (I am not big on fries). This is all I ate for today. We'll see if it is terribly bad! Bye

2008-09-29T08:47:00.001-07:00

SUPER CONGRATULATIONS TO MY SISTER! SHE COMPLETED HER FIRST 5K. ROCK ON RHONDA, YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION. I WILL KEEP GOING WHEN I WANT TO QUIT BECAUSE OF YOU! THANKS ROBIN FOR PLANTING THIS SEED OF CHANGE IN MY HEART! LOVE YOU GUYS

no worries

2008-09-28T19:54:00.000-07:00

several people have commented on my disappearing act on Wed. It was a hard, rotten, no good miserable day! Yep, one of those. I headed for my favorite doughnut place about 15 miles away. It is too long a drive to make usually, in fact we've only gone there once, but this was a rough day and I WANTED, nay I felt I NEEDED to eat, eat, eat. On our way there I realized I would like to not get caught up in this again. I turned around and went to sonic for a limeade. It was perfect and tasted great. Not exactly the healthiest in the world but better than 6-7 hot doughnuts. Yea me! Ok, this is where some people would mock that the fat girl would eat 6-7 doughnuts. Yes, all fat people know we are fat! It is not like we are unaware that the doughnut is NOT included in the "breads" category on the food chart. But for some, eating is like working out or playing golf or soccer. It is a form of release. There is a certain satisfaction that comes from eating the hot, fattening delicious doughnut that we would not get from eating an apple. I have been on diets. The diet world is created to make fat people buy a product that wont work so we feel like a failure and want to buy another diet product. Yep, conspiracies are my thing......ya know big brother and all. he he he. Seriously, that is why I have avoided drinks, pills, gimmicks of all kind. I am going to do it right if it kills me! Anyway, I will get back to the original subject......I ended up not run/walking on Thursday or Friday. I was however determined to go the distance on Saturday. And I did. After a party Sat night a few friends and I went walking. It was a decent pace, not too fast but not slow either. It was fast enough that it was hard to breathe and talk but not so hard that I couldn't talk at all. I went 2.80 miles!!!!!!! I actually felt like going more. I think that if I take the first mile a bit slower then I can really go for the next few in running. I am going to stick to my schedule but I am looking forward to Saturday to try my new theory. So, I know someone who offered to be my personal trainer and she is very well qualified. I have been so intimidated and scared that I never called her back. Yes, I'm a wimp. How do you think I got fat! Well, I saw her today and actually turned around to go the other direction and thought " this is your chance to something fabulous. You have been offered the chance of a lifetime opportunity, take it" so I went down the hall and said hello and started a conversation. I am going to call her tomorrow and we will get started. She is going to have me keep a food journal which of course I will be sharing. I have to list everything I put in my mouth. You guys are in for a treat this week. "A look into the eating habits of the obese. More at 10pm. Back to you Charlie" This should be very interesting.

oh yea, I wasn't really sore after my walk on Saturday. My foot that I think I broke was sore but it is always complaining.

I am really going to be doing some amazing things. Pray for me that I will have the strength to not give up. My very life depends on it! Bye

2008-09-24T19:35:00.001-07:00

I dont know about you but I am getting bored with my blog. is there something I can do to make positive changes???????????

hard day on the tracks

2008-09-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

I wanted a change of scenery today for our run. we went to a park near by and did the half mile circle 4 times. Actually I did it three and a half times and then did the part that is 1/4 mile another 4 times. It ended up equaling 2 miles. So I did 2 minutes running (in 1 minute segments) for every mile I walk/ran. I must say that for some reason my back and chest are killing me. After the run I bent over to stretch and felt the ....whatever in my back shot pain through my body. My shins and left ankle were hurting. Actually, my left foot felt like it was broken. it was hard to walk on and when I did walk on it it sent that searing pain into the whole foot. I looked really great walking out of the park limping. I am sure it was a sight. there were some pretty decent hills on this trail and so i felt like I really pushed hard and tried my best. However, after having said this I must say I am going back to being strict with the Jeff Galloway training program which I posted earlier. I am going to fell like I am not doing enough but i think I may be hurting myself trying to push harder than my body is willing to go. In two weeks the program gets kicked up a notch and it will become more intense but I will have a firm footing what I need. I guess someone who has trained over 170,000 people knows what he is talking about. I feel like this is a ridiculous goal to have set for myself and at other times feel like it is within my grasp. I dont know that i was expecting the roller coaster of emotions when I started this journey. I have heard that if you want to really be healthy and fit you need to work through all the reasons your not healthy and fit now. Well, I dont think I am doing that and so maybe i need to kick it up a notch myself and get my stuff together. If it is possible to work through that sort of thing yourself. A woman that I know (not very well) has offered to personally train me and I am terrified to call her. How silly is that ? She is everything everyone of us wants to be and I fear I can not live up to her expectations of what I can do. I am going to bite the bullet and call her tomorrow because I really need help and it truly is becoming more than I can do alone. So I put two ice packs on both shins and left them for 2 hours and it still didnt relieve the pain fully. It was a hard workout but well worth it I am sure.....bye

training schedule

2008-09-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

Here are my next few weeks of training. I have gone outside the guidelines of Jeff Galloways program lately and have been feeling it both physically and mentally. So I am back on Schedule and plan on sticking to this religiously. After this part is over I go directly to training specifically for the half marathon. I will post that when we get there....it is going to get intense!

Week 6 (walkers will walk only, runners will run for 15 seconds/walk for 45 seconds on the run/walk days)

Mon: 30 min run/walk
Tues: Walk 30 min
Wed: 30 min run/walk
Thurs: Walk 30 min
Fri: off
Sat: 2.25 mi run/walk
Sun: off/walk

Week 7 (walkers will walk only, runners will run for 15 seconds/walk for 45 seconds on the run/walk days)
Mon: 30 min run/walk
Tues: walk 30 min
Wed: 30 min run/walk
Thurs: Walk 30 min
Fri: off
Sat: 2.5 mi run/walk
Sun: off/walk

Week 8 (walkers will walk only, runners will run for 15 seconds/walk for 45 seconds on the run/walk days)
Mon: 30 min run/walk
Tues: walk 30 min
Wed: 30 min run/walk
Thurs: Walk 30 min
Fri: off
Sat: 2.75 mi run/walk
Sun: off/walk

Tuesday night hunger

2008-09-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

Today was one filled with activity. So because I am so gung ho about doing this marathon I feel strongly that I should work for the funds to get there. Ok, so there is the little thing about us not having any money but that is only second to my desire to do this all the way. I was going to use family funds but as it turns out those funds were used for school fees and books. So I have been racking my brain on ways I can earn money. I have very few talents but one talent I do have and I feel I am good at is cooking (go figure). However it is hard to make cash by cooking. So I was really trying hard to find ways to earn this money. Close to $800 in total. I started asking around to see if anyone knew of those survey places, or of testing or anything I could do without leaving my children with a sitter. It was like manna from heaven! Really! I had a job today that I actually enjoyed, most people don't enjoy cleaning but for me it is satisfying to see an end product right away. I had been thinking about making jewelry. I have made jewelry in the past but only as gifts. So I wanted to put some on e-bay or something. The overhead cost of equipment and supplies was going to be too much. before noon I got a call from someone I have not spoken to about any of this who is giving away all her jewelry equipment and supplies and was wondering if I was interested. I had been praying about how I could do this and it has been made clear the path I should go. I believe we when we ask for help or guidance we don't always just get what we need. I still have to work for the money (although it would be nice if money just floated ever so gently to my front door) but He has shown me the way by whispering to others. A big shout out to all the people who are making this possible for me. Including my friend who watched my children while I worked. This evening was soccer practice and so we were at the soccer fields until almost 8pm. So dinner was eggs and yogurt and cheese. I did not want to eat because I knew I would be running soon. Not to mention I hate eggs! I ended up going to the neighbors house to run the treadmill (yes, I hate it but it is handy) because it was dark and frankly as much as I enjoyed last night I would prefer someone with me. As there was no one to watch the children I was running alone. So I watched Iron Chef while I ran. Good workout because her treadmill is inclined and makes it rough to run/walk. I did 20 minutes and fell off the machine in exhaustion. I have had two huge glasses of water and a, getting ready for a third and I am hitting the sack! Blake is good, we have not heard from the children's hospital. Its a waiting game. We are pretty sure he is having surgery but the degree of the biopsy is still unknown. Miracles happen every day, even for slackers like me! Bye

what a day

2008-09-22T22:38:00.000-07:00

This day has ended much differently than it started. I took my son to the Dr to see about a lump I found on him. It turns out she was very concerned and they are going to be running a lot of tests on him in the next few days. STRESS!

While I was at the Dr's office I thought I would step on the scale. I have not done this since my last visit almost a month ago. I was expecting a change, a big change as I mentioned before and guess what? I was once again disappointed in myself. Everyone is saying that 2lbs is good and better than nothing but to a person who is so fat 2lbs is absolutely nothing. It is water weight. So I was feeling sorry for myself and the more I did that the guiltier I felt for being so selfish. I mean my beautiful baby boy might have cancer and I am crying over my weight! What kind of person am I? Anyway, i thought more about him throughout the day and that didnt help with my food intake. I did much better than I would have before, but I did go for take out Chinese and that is always high in everything. For dinner tonight I made a nice soup with garbonzo beans, corn, peas, rice and chicken. It was pretty good and it made me feel better about my outing earlier.

I have spoken tonight to many people about my sons plight. However one big event did take place that really helped. Three men from church came over and gave both my husband and I blessings by the laying on of hands by those who have authority by God. The blessings were of peace and calming. My husband, along with the other priesthood holders, gave our son a blessing. We are not sure what the future holds but this we do know....we have been blessed with much peace and comfort.

I ran tonight at 11pm. I ran the neighborhood. I went only 22 minutes but it was good. I ran most of it which is surprising and exciting. I had two neighbors look at me funny but that may have been because of the time. I actually enjoyed running it tonight in the dark. It was hard and I was out of breath but it was cool and beautiful. I have heard some say that running helps clear the mind and helps you work through problems. This is NOT the case for me. I really tried but as it turns out I hate running enough that it was all I could do to think about breathing and pushing on. I am proud of myself for going even that late and by myself.

I think it is time to start strength training in a serious manor. I just simply cant run with all this body fat. I have come to hate my body. I feel like it is keeping me from achieving my best. Maybe even on purpose. Bye

moment of clarity

2008-09-22T08:23:00.001-07:00

As I was speaking with my mother I had a moment of clarity. I must tell you the conversation was great. Here goes.......Robin is my rock! Where would I be without my sisters???? I think our family has come together in incredible ways. I am not sure I shared the story of the couple stopping to cheer me on. I should have, if I didn't I am sorry. I was running the hills in my neighborhood and as I was climbing the big hill I was struggling and pushing a stroller I was crying and breathing hard and gasping for air. An SUV passed us and I put on a smile and waved as they passed. I got passed the hill and once again the SUV came toward us. But instead of passing by they stopped and the gentleman (probably in their 50s) spoke to me, he said "good job, keep going, your doing great." His wife in the passenger seat was clapping. This moment is what keeps me going when the teenagers in the neighborhood are laughing and mocking me. There have been people stop to look at me, I imagine them wondering how so much fat can be moving on one person at once. it has been difficult. But the happiness will be worth it! Our family has recently had some financial strain and my husband is in school so with fees and books and other needs we have been pinching pennies. This brings up one of the other trials I face through this journey. I am having to come up with the entry fee for the marathon, the hotel and airplane costs and all the other little items that cost money. So I have started asking around for work, cleaning, cooking, babysitting and other things. I am going to put my homemade jewelry on e0bay to sell and I am putting up other things I can sew on the Internet as well. All of this combined has given me reason to believe that without any doubt God is in this with me and He has shown me the path I should walk/run. When I was down and stressed and frustrated with these trials I turned to Him. He who created the world can and will give me the strength to go on. I received a phone call just today by someone wanting to help me and is giving me the opportunity to earn some of the much needed money. Once again, how thankful I am to my friends and family for listening to the subtle but strong promptings of the Spirit. You are my strength and my rod of Iron in this test and journey.

Thank you all

If someday my children read any of this I hope they see how hard Mommy has worked. How much I love them. How I want them to be healthy and strong. I want them to understand that no matter what you face in life it CAN be overcome and worked through. I want you to know S, Bcc, and Bl, "I love you more than you may ever know, I did all of this for you as much for me!"

This entry has been emotional as most of them have been. Thank you for bearing with me and reading my blog and commenting on it. The power of your support really does make a difference to me.

Thanks.....Bye

2008-09-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

HI Mom and Dad.

I am so thankful to my family and friends for their constant support.

Thanks

Thursday Sept 18

2008-09-20T13:10:00.001-07:00

I actually thought I had posted my run for this day but it looks like I never actually published it. Too bad for me! Holly and I worked her neighborhood again today. I went over tired (as usual) and started off shaky but the further I went the better I felt. I feel that the 2 mile mark is when I go from energy to hurt. It is something I think I can work through although I don't know yet how my body will react to pushing on. My shins hurt pretty intensely after this run/walk. When I would stand up or sit down it felt like I was ripping muscles. After about an hour it stopped hurting and I was able to really enjoy that after run feeling. I have also been doing sit ups after every workout. I don't know that it will help because I only do 25-30 but I suppose it wont hurt either. Some people have said they see a noticeable difference in my appearance but I don't see any change. It is sad but I am looking forward to stepping on the Dr's scale this week. It will have been one month since I was weighed and since I started running. I guess I must tell you that I will feel terrible if there is not even a little improvement. Actually, I would like to see a BIG improvement. This is setting myself up for feeling bad and eating junk to comfort the none loss. I feel like I don't want to get excited on the other hand secretly I cant help it. A note to anyone wanting to run, DON'T run with a stroller and children. It does make it harder. There is some discrepancy in the mileage we went. Holly measured the circle and it was .70miles, but usatf says it is .54miles. I am going to go drive it tonight to check. It makes a huge difference as to my goal. I am really wishing it is .70 then I can say I went over 2 miles. We shall see! I need to figure out how I can strength train without going to a gym. Being as I am a chunk I have no idea what I can do to turn fat to muscle. I have heard that running is a good way to get healthy but not strength. On that note, I am going to do my run for today. Oh hey, by the way, yesterday was the off day (Friday) and I ended up taking the children to the zoo. So we walked for about 2 1/2 hours. It was not vigorous but it was hilly and hard at times. It made for a semi good workout even though we are not supposed to run/walk on off days I figure it wasn't too bad so it wont count. BYE>>>>>

Wed Sept 17

2008-09-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

I went on a walk/run with two men tonight!

I suppose you want more information....Well, I spent most of my day cleaning up the lawn from recent weather that left our lawn in disarray. So I decided to go with my husband again like last week. It was a great thing and I knew he enjoyed it as well. We had an unexpected visitor come over and so we invited him to go with us. It was very nice! The guys talked and I walked. I did do one run up an incline but nothing major tonight. I feel as though it was good enough because it is what I could do. I added sit ups to my workout at least once a week. I figure it cant hurt. I am up to 30. My shins hurt but not too bad and my back has started up again but nothing that will keep me from going tomorrow. Holly wants to do our Saturday run on a trail and I am so excited. The children can be with dads and we can just go. I am looking forward to this weekend to try our big idea out in the real world. I went and that is all I wanted to say.....Bye

yes, I'm back

2008-09-16T19:55:00.001-07:00

OK, I got a call this morning around 10am and I was still in my Pj's. It was a friend of mine wanting to know if I wanted to run today. She read my blog and heard the subtle implications of giving up. Anyway, it was clear that by this time in the morning I had not gone out to run. So having the desire to get back into the game, I agreed to meet her. We were going to go in the afternoon but things got crazy and we rescheduled it for evening. I got there and she was ready to go. We walked the first mile and a few houses down I was reminded, by my ankles, that I didn't switch shoes. I never thought shoes made such a difference but they do and tonight I got the message loud and clear. She offered to go back (we weren't too far away) but I wanted to press forward and see how it would go. I was so happy to get my shoes on after the first mile! My feet thanked me as well. We ended up going 2.18miles. Yea us! On the second mile I wanted to run the 20 seconds every two minutes and at first we did that. After 5 runs I was hurting. I guess I should have gone on to show my friend that I could do it, but pushing an injury is not what I am about right now. So we walked at a swift pace and kept it all through the 2 miles. It felt great! It is so invigorating sometimes. It was dark out and we were walking in a relatively dark neighborhood so I could see stars and the sky. It was nice to be in love with it again. Hopefully tomorrow when I go out I can run longer because I went tonight. thanks, Suzanne! Shins hurt still but I am getting used to this type of pain and hopefully it will just be something I eventually won't notice. My feet hurt more than usual but that is a shoe issue. I cant wait until some of the weight is off and my body doesn't have to work SO hard to do it's job. For now I am off to bed....Bye

2008-09-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

sticks and stones may break my bones....

2008-09-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

I am in a place where now the workouts become more difficult. is it because I am so fat? Is it because I have low self worth? Is it because I feel a failure already? I am not sure the answer but I am finding it harder to accomplish once obtained goals. On Thursday last I was going to go for my walk/run and ended up having everything else get in the way. So I decided to go on Friday and let Thursday be my resting day. I did go on Friday but it was not the motivated walk/run I would like to be doing at this point. I actually walked the whole thing and not at a pace I am generally proud of. It was nice but I felt unaccomplished! So down I fell.....Saturday came and this is my big run day. Having missed the Saturday run so much up til now I thought I would surely do it. Nope! Everything got in the way (meaning, I was too lazy, once again, to put me first). So I went Sat and Sunday without a workout. Yep, that brings me to Monday. Today! I did my walk/run in our neighborhood and we have some killer hills that even my long time running friend acknowledged were over the top difficult. I walked the entire thing AGAIN! I did keep a very good pace and kept my heart rate up the whole time but I feel so much like a failure that I cant enjoy the benefits of the time out there. So I am in a funk! What does this mean for my future as a runner, I don't know but it cant be good. My back was killing me all day and I don't feel that I am really burning anything off or strengthening my body at all. This is why people hire personal trainers. Biggest loser and shows like that sound pretty good right now! Tomorrow will be a test, both of my friends will not be joining me. This means I will have to motivate and accomplish my run/walk by myself. It seems to me I may not be up to the challenge. It is like putting a piece of grilled liver in front of someone and leaving the room HOPING they will eat and enjoy. Yea, right. Is there a dog in the house? Not to mention all my children will be home due to the recent hurricane Ike. All our schools are out and most businesses. Psychologically this is blowing my mind. Some think this is just a case of mind over body. I am going to agree and disagree. My body really doesn't want to go but I think my body wants to do it more than my mind. Listen to me, I sound like this is all distanced from me, like my body and mind are entities all their own. Excuses? Yes! I was in a pageant as a child and I remember the director always saying "people, people, people" to get us to hush and listen. This is what I am doing now to myself. The only problem with that is not only do I not have to physically hear it but I can disobey without letting anyone down but me. What a nightmare I have created! So I must say that I have been suffering from intense migraines and pretty bad cramps this past week so I fall back on the pain factor a lot and maybe that is where this is all coming from. But am I not to hold myself responsible for all my actions, good excuses or not? Maybe setting my goals too high made this almost unattainable therefore sabotaging myself into failure. Again, I may be over thinking the whole thing but, well I don't know what, but something!??!??! Lets hope tomorrow brings fantastic results to cheer up this pessimist. Maybe I will go somewhere where the path isn't so hard and hilly. I can only do that if someone goes with me. Maybe the teenage girl next door will suffer through an hour to help me out with the children. We'll see. Bye

Running at full speed

2008-09-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

Turns out full speed is running at an 1/8 of a mile per mile. Went run/walking today with friends and went one mile at full speed and then one mile at half speed. It was good no new developments. My sisters plan on being at 3 miles by end of Sept and so do I ...we shall see! I felt good today although once again it is hard to start and harder to keep going. I am sure it wont get easier just more worth it.....Bye

This is a wild and crazy thing....LIFE

2008-09-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

So as you can imagine today went totally unexpected again. May I say life can throw curve balls at the funniest times. First all my sisters are back in the race. Yippee! I am so excited to be doing this! I am still in awe that I am even at this point. I have RA, high blood pressure, possibly hypoglycemia, still recovering from Bacterial Meningitis, migraines, endometriosis pain, not to mention the 268lbs. Ya know, I really wanted to do 2 miles tonight and prove to myself that I am awesome. The truth is I am awesome and I did not do 2 miles. I am going to have to work on my thoughts about myself. I say "I cant do this" alot. Well, it was raining this morning when I got up and got ready for our run. We canceled until the after noon and then we were tired and decided to wait until tonight. OK, have we heard this from me before.....yea, it doesn't work for me! However, I changed my thought and decided to go no matter how late and or dark! Turns out things fell into place after I made this my goal. The neighbor said she would stay at our house and Cris and I could go together. How fabulous was this!!!!! I have not EVER exercised with Cris. It was fantastic. I think I want to do this at least once a week. We laughed and hurt and talked the entire time. Ya know after 12 years of being with one person you gain a distance without knowing it. Tonight felt like we were the obnoxious engaged couple just going for a walk(a fast walk and run). I am at the top of my happiness. We pushed each other and what was to be a 1 mile run/walk turned out to be a 1.70 mile run/walk. I am so blessed to have so many people supporting me. Thank you for listening when I write my musings here. I know that this one event has changed my life forever! It is hard to say that about many things and there are few in my life I can say that about. This is one! Adopting my three children was one! Marrying my Cris was one! Deciding to run an impossibly hard and long half marathon is one, one I will forever be changed from and one I owe almost entirely to my sisters who are pushing just like me! Thanks Renea, Rhonda and Robin-Go A team! Bye

2 days off

2008-09-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

I know understand why the book "running with angels" says you need to take time for yourself. Saturday was a tough day.

We decided to go to breakfast as a family. After we got done there we had errands that were close to the restaurant. So

we did those and by the time we got home it was so hot and I was tired. So I was going to run at night and one thing led

led to another and I never went. I will also add I was very upset that we did not get home in time and other things took

priority over my run. I guess I didn't take time! I can blame no one but myself. I was last on my list instead of first.So as

you can imagine I had a hard day on Sunday because I was tired and run down. So today when I went running I was lagging

on the course. I started out walking fast to stretch much neglected muscles and when I went to run I couldn't. No, seriously,

I just couldn't. So I did 3/4 mile and then stopped and waited for my friend to be finished with her run. I then took the

opportunity to go out by myself for the run and it was easier but I was not able to run the whole thing. I went another

3/4 mile and I did run a lot but not the whole thing as I had expected. So a little disappointment but tomorrow

I am going to kick butt! My shins still hurt!!!! Good news, my ankle doesn't hurt any more. Run hard and enjoy......Bye

You can't believe it

2008-09-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

You may think I have gone off my rocker by now. You must notice that I have a certain love/hate relationship with running. Well, today is no different. My son woke up very early and so we were all tired and he wasn't feeling good and it was threatening rain. All of these combined lead me to call and cancel our run for today. Well, my friend did not get the call and came over anyway. I must say that I adore her persistence, she never left my front door til I answered (which was probably half an hour). Give her props for loving me enough to stay put and keep me going. So I went over to her house and we took a nice mile walk through her neighborhood. We walked because I have been fearing that I will injure my ankle if I am not careful. We walked at a good pace and at one point found a pear tree that the children benefited from generously. It rained right before we went on our walk and started raining right after we finished. I think the Heavens are with me in this adventure, what do you think? I had a few errands to run and by the time we got home my baby was asleep and my daughter wanted lunch. After lunch my son awoke and I was feeling a bit antsy, normally I would insert food here, so I decided to go for walk/run #2 for the day. Yes, I did the hills!!! The mail lady commented 3 times (we past her twice and then she delivered to us) how great I was doing and how she did not know how on earth I was pushing those two babies in the stroller up those hills. I must say I am still wondering how I did it. I was not thinking about pain or pushing through or anything but "I must finish this race, and in order to do that I must get going"!! This was my motivation and I will tell you I have never felt so alive! It was up to me and I went for it not passing the hard hills or walking the whole thing. I pushed and ran my heart out and it was incredible. I could compare it to something I have felt before but this is a pg blog. I was invigorated, happy, high! This is my new food. I have found something I really want to do instead of eat. I know I am going to go back and forth but for now, right here in this moment nothing seems as fantastic as running so long that the burn in my legs and ankles feels like a warm sensation. Today was a great day! This will be the day I look back on during rough times. Tonight at dinner I did not overeat and I actually thought about running again. that wouldn't be good for me so I am not going to but can you imagine how it must be for me to not want to eat my leftovers right away. I didn't bring them home because I didn't want to seem like a pig, I brought them home because I was truly finished with the meal. The piece of dessert I had was too much........NEVER has cheesecake been too much. Wow. I am amazed at myself. Unbelievable! I am not sure I have ever said this out loud or even in silence but " I am proud of myself!" Insert smile......Bye

"27 ways to run better every day"

2008-09-05T19:20:00.000-07:00

This is from an article I read with the above title. I took #7 to heart and have found it a key ingredient in my training process.

6. Get cozy with frozen vegetables. This isn't a nutrition tip. It's an injury-prevention tip. If London Marathon winner Paula Radcliffe can take ice baths after a hard race, you can stand a bag of frozen peas against your sore knees for 15 minutes. Nothing reduces inflammation and holds injuries at bay like ice. Result: You stick to your training program. Don't like veggies? Fruit works, too. Try a small bag of frozen blueberries or strawberries. Or one of the many commercial ice wraps, often with handy Velcro straps. (You can find a good one at www.contourpak.com.)

Today I got cozy with our first aid kits ice pack. Although in the past in emergencies I have been known to grab whatever is frozen to put on an injured child. Love this advice....

http://www.active.com/running/Articles/27_Ways_to_Run_Better_Every_Day.htm

First sick day

2008-09-04T14:05:00.000-07:00

So waking up today I felt like I had a hangover. I was weak and sick and feeling awful. I will not bother with the particulars as i am sure you are not interested. However, I called my running buddies and canceled today's run. And I slept. We are doing today run tomorrow on the day I am supposed to be off. I think, though, that I will walk/run at Sara's soccer practice tonight. There is a nice park close by and that will be enough to get a little something in today and then I wont feel like I am cheating even though I am not. I am feeling a little better but it will not stop me either way tomorrow.....It might be a crazy day I have ahead.....Bye

Take that!!!

2008-09-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

I just got around to calculating my walk/run today and I went 1.39 miles. Wahoo!!!!!

Help from Heaven

2008-09-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

When I went out to run today I was excited to be doing it. It is funny but now I get actually scared. Like I am scared of labor and delivery, it's because of the pain I know is coming. Pain I am purposefully inflicting on myself. So I pushed through the fear and went out to run. Sure enough my outer right ankle started hurting so I stopped to stretch out. I guess it is hard for everyone and I knew going into the run/walk it would be hard. My ankle hurt so bad but I kept going. I passed our starting place and knew I had one more turn around the block and thought about just stopping for the day. The thing is that after I am done running I feel fine. I ice my ankle and it is good for the day. I was around the block and close to the finish and I started crying. I was hurting and yet I was pushing on. It was pretty incredible how the mind CAN control the body. For years I have let my body control and I ate when ever I wanted to instead of just when I needed to. My mom, when I was little, used to say "you should eat to live, not live to eat." I think I may be getting this. As I was nearing my friends house I wanted to slow walk the rest. I said to myself " it would be a warm down, not quiting." But I knew in my heart that it would be quiting the goal I have set. So I said out loud for the world and God to hear " I made it through the miscarriage and through the foster care system to adopt my children and an almost fatal illness--- I CAN DEAL with this!!!" As I got about two driveways close one of my friends started clapping and giving me encouraging shouts. She thought she was annoying but I thought she was an angel sent from heaven. Although directly after our run I went to McDonald's """for the kids""" and got nuggets. I am not going to beat myself up over the nuggets, it was the cheeseburger after that I am hating. The sad thing is that junk never fills me up. So no matter how hungry I am I will not eat until dinner(which will include a big salad). My daughter is here and wants to me spell her name on my blog so ignore this part....Becca. She is so cute and just wants to be involved. So anyway I feel guilty and that can be good because I feel guilty about you guys knowing about it. So this will keep me from doing it in the future. I am so proud of myself, for the first time in my life I am REALLY doing something I want and making sure I see it through. So I must give today a 5 star review and pat myself on the back. Thanks for giving me this outlet to vent and journal this very hard and worthwhile journey. Bye....

Tuesday day ????I have no idea

2008-09-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

Today my friend came over to run with me and when she came over I was just out of bed. I had to have one of the kids answer the door cause I was not dressed appropriatly. And I was not ready just yet to run so she just hung out til I was ready. How sweet is that? Ok, so, there is a quote from a book I am reading ("Running with angels" hard book to read but totally worth it.) that goes something like this "running is a lot like life, sometimes you have to keep pushing through the pain". Today was kind of that way. I feel good after the run everyday but during it I feel terrible. I feel so fat and awkward out there running like I know what I am doing. Parts of my body yelling at me to quit, give up, go home. At one point my friend had gone home already and it was me and my son in the stroller and I just had to go to the end of the street and turn around and go home. I wanted to cheat and turn around early. I almost gave in and then thought how I would feel if I did not go the distance (Field of Dreams) so I pushed through the pain. I am glad I did but it seems my own opinion is not enough! What's that about? it only feels ok if someone else sees it and pats my back. How utterly ridiculous is that? I mean, am I not important to myself? do I even deserve all this? Wow, powerful question that I can't answer. Sometimes being fat hurts....just the fact that I'm fat hurts! How did I get here? How am I going to get to another place when it is so hard. My daughter said to me the other day, "hey Mom, that lady is fat like you." She is just young and didn't mean anything by it but even my children see the fat! How can I raise my babies to think it is ok to be this big. To eat when your sad and disappointed, and frustrated, and angry, and happy, and excited..........Whatever, hopefully tomorrows run will feel great and I will begin the journey of healing the pain instead of just enduring it.....Bye

Ya right, no fun here

2008-09-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so today I got up early on a holiday (labor day) to go run/walk. I end up getting a chance to warm up before my friends show up to give their support by running with me. That warm up is supposed to keep me from hurting RIGHT? Yea, right!! I went the 22 minutes I was supposed to and I ran 3 minutes of that time. But I was in so much pain......shin splints? Ever heard of such a thing? I am not even sure I am spelling or pronouncing them correctly. All I do know is they SUCK! Yea, my ankle was really bothering me (I forgot the wrap) but the pain from my shins was terrible. I am actually still feeling the residual effect after 13 hours. I guess when your ankle hurts you shouldn't run anymore and just do the walking. OK, so what is the help for this mess of pain? My sister was sympathetic as usual and helped bring me down from my "bad " place. She says that after a while my muscles will get used to the movements that are so new to my body. Ya know let me just vent for a minute..... Are men really from mars? I mean I am beginning to think maybe, yes. Sorry but for some reason this all seems a trivial thing for my husband. Anyway,,,,,,On the good side of today, my marathon I found out today is actually on Sunday. Which is a bummer since Sundays are very special to me and I prefer not to do those sorts of things on my Sabbath. HOWEVER, we found another one (and by we I mean my sister did all the work and i benefit) it is near Vegas in Boulder Nevada. AND, here is the great part.....it is on January 3 in stead of December 7! How fabulous is that not only do I get to run/walk on Saturday BUT I get a whole extra month to train. Heaven knows I am going to need it! I think maybe for tomorrow I am going to stick with walking and MAYBE a slow jog to help heal the muscles and joints that are not used to being moved. They better get used to it cause I am here for the long haul!!!! I ate sugar products by the ton today and I am sure I will be feeling it later. It was so hot and there was ice cream (we brought the icy treats) and you know I cant really resist ice cream. Also, soda....Its a bad habit I am not doing well at giving up. Any sugestions? I am up for almost anything. Well.....Bye
Oh ya, I should totally mention that my best friend totally lapped me....I told her this, If i didnt love you so much I'd hate you. She has these georgeous long legs and over all greatness so I can't fault her, but she did run the whole time AND she went over 30 minutes. Yep, I'll be her someday (except the long legs, they come already stretched)! Bye....for real this time

The end of day 6

2008-08-30T19:10:00.000-07:00

So I went out with my husband to eat with friends. We left our children at our friends house with a babysitter and were gone 2 hours. Yummy food (as if there is non yummy food) at the Texas Roadhouse. I had Prime Rib with a salad and green beans. We came back and relieved (literally) the babysitter and I went for a run while they set up the games and drinks(water). Here's is the big tip of the day.....don't eat and run! That is the big tip. Apparently most people know this but me. So guess what, prime rib is not fun sloshing around in your belly while trying not to throw it back up. Delicious! But as it turns out I ran/walked 1.11miles. Yippee!!! I am so proud of myself for not giving up. I ran 21/2 minutes of the 20 it took. While that may not seem like a lot to some this is a huge step for me. I can not believe that after 4 days of exercise I am at this level. In the middle of the run, as usual, I was thinking that there is no way I will be able to run this half marathon. It always seems more do-able after the run when I feel good. I really do feel good about myself. I really didn't believe that this would help me feel good. I mean come on now over 200lbs should not be this easy to run/walk., But amazingly it really is. I think Jeff Galloway is fabulous. But he is skinny and probably has not seen anyone my size take on his program. Drink lots of water and don't eat a heavy meal before you go.....so on that note.......i got nothin.......Bye
Oops, I forgot to say that I kind of hurt my ankle. It only hurt when I was actually running. I wonder if it is just the weight or if I am on the verge of an injury. My sister says not to run when it hurts. I will keep that in mind but at the same time I dont want my subconscious to fake pain just to keep from running. Ya know, my brain has its own way of sabotaging our progress. BYE

Saturday 6th day

2008-08-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Well, today has been a mix of choas and disaster. But that is all kid stuff and not much to do with running except that when things are chaotic it effects the run. for instance, my plan today was to run in the morning. It is hot and humid here and the afternoons are hard enough just to go out side and sit. So then the morning got crazy and soon I found myself in the afternoon. We had a party for some of the childrens friends and that was great. I had some chores that needed to be accomplished and so on....All of this leads to no run today. So Cris and I are going on a date tonight and I thought I would run after that. It will be probably 10:30pm or so and it will be after we have eaten. It will be cool and nice out so maybe I will run the area around my friends house and then I wont have to stress about not getting the run in today. I talked to Robin and apperantly she and Rhonda will be running later tonight as well. How funny is that? I guess that means it was all meant to be this way. So until later, ........i got nothin. Bye

2008-08-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

Friday 5th day- Yippee, today was our day off. We are following Jeff Galloways marathon training. It insures an injury free run. With girth I am ready to sweat and work but I am not going to get hurt. Yea, I am pretty sure I would say see ya on the December mark date. It was nice to have this day off bu I must confess that I really wanted to get out and run. Tomorrow is our first run not by minutes but by miles. So tomorrow is my 1 mile. I think I am going to try to run the whole thing but I have heard and read on Jeff's website that doing a run walk gets you just as far and saves your body. Also, my sister Robin tells me that her trainer says you burn fat instead of just sugar when you switch back and forth. Yippee! Now that is something a fat girl wants to hear......please, make me walk.........twist my arm......oh, go on! So we will see how I do on the morrow! See ya then...ha ha ha, I mean talk to you then.

2008-08-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

Monday first day run/walking-totally sucked! Sorry to be so crude with my words but it did. It was hard and horrible. My ankles are killing me and so is my back. Holy Moly, I am in pain. I drank a ton of water and then took a nap...he he he. One of the truly great things about staying at home with my children is nap time. I took full advantage today...I can't do this (run/walk) again. I am to fat and too out of shape. I need to call my back ups. Robin, Rhonda and Renea are my sisters and back up team. So I called the experienced one first. She encouraged me and told me how good we will feel at the finish line. We may have to walk more than run but were doing this thing! Yea, for her, she gave me what I needed to go on.
Tuesday 2nd day- Ok yesterday was awful and Robin (my sister that does this all the time) warned me that today would be worse because I would know what was ahead. I had a therapy apt, yes I see a therapist, you don't get this fat without issues. My therapist was very happy to hear that I was exercising. Something about releasing endorphins or some other theory. I cant say "crazy" the therapy world doesn't use that term anymore. So she was happy for me but I know she was thinking " what a lofty goal for someone who takes up a good portion of my couch." So anyway, I went out expecting to have a bad, hard run. I had to take the two younger children and that posed a potential problem. I know the double stroller is fabulous for the zoo and shopping but to run?? I wasn't sure. As it turns out it IS harder to run/walk with a stroller. But I guess it just intensified my workout because not only was I going to make the 13 minutes but my arms and other muscles were going to be used to push the little ones. My goal time today was 13 minutes and I actually went 13.31minutes. Hooray!!! Yes, it is the little things that make me happy.

Wed 3 day -What a wild day I have had. Today was my Dr.s appointment. To figure out why I am getting dizzy and sort of passing out. Something that could be a detriment to my mortal existence. She thinks it is my sugar levels and so I am now on a spontaneous Hypoglycemic diet. Great, so I start exercising and now I am on a diet. Two things fat people HATE! The good news is that likely the passing out will stop AND maybe I will lose some weight. Although I think it would be kind of funny for a person of my considerable size to be running in a marathon with anorexics. Just kidding, I would hate to offend all the skinnies. As it turns out a power greater than I is in charge and so I will go with the flow. I learned a couple years ago when I almost died from Bacterial meningitis that it is ALL in His hands and surrendering is easier than arguing with an almighty, all knowing, all powerful, omnipotent Father in Heaven. Anyway, the day was this wild and so I had not had time to run/walk. So at about 8pm I went next door to use their treadmill. Now, these are some pretty great people here. One of the first reactions I got when I told them I was going to run a marathon was "December of what year?" They are so hilarious that we all just laughed at that and it was at that moment that they secretly pledged themselves and their home in helping me accomplish this over reaching goal. How fabulous is that? What a strength. However on this night, going over to their house, while they were there, running seemed.....well, embarrassing. Yep, it is humiliating to have people around when all of your "stuff" jiggles, wiggles and in general dances in a very unpleasant way. Again, they were very gracious and tried not to watch the show I would put on for them. Tonight was to be a 15 minute run/walk. The treadmill was at an angle and I had to set the speed. Now, for a fat person having people in the room is bad enough, but having to set your pace is horrifying. So I set it at a decent pace that I thought may be a bit too much but that wouldn't be too horrible either. Guess what? It was excruciating!!!!! I had to quit, and frankly lie about how long I was on, after 10 minutes because I was in intense burning pain. I mean cant breathe kind of pain. The pain you get when you have cramps, fall off the porch and then get hit by a car, pain. Yep, I am done running, this must be the end for me. How can I possibly think I can run a marathon with people who train for a year or more. I am too fat and too out of shape(ha ha cause I have lots of shape) to be training for a race less than 4 months away. What in the world was I thinking....idiot is what I am thinking!

Thursday- I do not want to run! Running on the treadmill last night kicked my bum and I am still paying for it. So I skipped out on my morning run. By afternoon I was feeling the guilt only I can heap upon myself. I decided that I was going to run after Sara came home from school/ here is reason #1 I should ALWAYS run in the morning/ but when she got home I had important errands to run. I mean the dishwasher has been out of commission for months and Cris (husband) will fix it with the right part. So I went to the parts store. Then I had to take library books back and so forth until finally it was time for soccer. Yep, there goes the whole day. After soccer there was a school function and the of course a late dinner out. So when I had time to myself again it was 10pm. So instead of running around my sort of scary neighborhood at night I decided to forgo the treadmill and run in front of the TV. Here's what I learned; Standing in one place is not fun.Period. I had to get creative and run our basement, which happens to go in a circle and was perfecto for a nice run. I ran the whole time and went 3 minutes over to make a full 20 minutes! must say it was different for me in that, after about 3 minutes I felt GOOD. Yep, I said good! My upper legs (I am sure there is an actual name) above my knees felt fabulous. I mean I really liked the feeling. On the other hand my lower legs (below the knee) felt awful. It was like my body was having some kind of adverse reaction while at the same time in a weird state of paradise. Yep, no need to tell me I'm odd, I've known that for a long time but aside from my oddness I have to wonder if others have similar experiences. Asking a real runner about running is like asking the ice cream clerk about the local vegetarian restaurant.. They would look at me as if to say "you have got to be kidding me fat lady, you actually think you can or WOULD run farther than the refrigerator?" So I must wonder to myself and all of cyberspace. Is this normal? I asked Robin and she tried to be supportive but I could tell that she in her wonderful, supportive, sisterness had NO idea what on earth her plump yet wonderful sister was talking about. So even though tomorrow is our scheduled day off I think I might run.....for pleasure!

fat runner going all the way 13.2 miles

2008-08-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

So I am a fat lady of 36. I weigh 268lbs, yep I'm putting my weight out there for all of you. Scary but necessary. I want to be healthier for my 3 children and would like to enjoy fun years with my sweetheart. I have been through alot in recent years and all roads seem to lead to fat, fat, fat. I love to eat! I am not a chocolate person but ice cream is a weakness. I was recently hanging out with my sisters who live far away and we were talking about how fun it would be to run a marathon together. (One of my sisters is already a runner). We all thought it would be too hard because we are all hefty girls. But, since we were all interested in doing it we all started training together. So here I am, ready to give the gory details of a fat person training for her first marathon. I hope you enjoy and in some way leave this blog wanting to get healthy, cause if I can do ANYONE can do it! Let me know what you think.

Enjoy,
Rebecca