While I was at the Dr's office I thought I would step on the scale. I have not done this since my last visit almost a month ago. I was expecting a change, a big change as I mentioned before and guess what? I was once again disappointed in myself. Everyone is saying that 2lbs is good and better than nothing but to a person who is so fat 2lbs is absolutely nothing. It is water weight. So I was feeling sorry for myself and the more I did that the guiltier I felt for being so selfish. I mean my beautiful baby boy might have cancer and I am crying over my weight! What kind of person am I? Anyway, i thought more about him throughout the day and that didnt help with my food intake. I did much better than I would have before, but I did go for take out Chinese and that is always high in everything. For dinner tonight I made a nice soup with garbonzo beans, corn, peas, rice and chicken. It was pretty good and it made me feel better about my outing earlier.
I have spoken tonight to many people about my sons plight. However one big event did take place that really helped. Three men from church came over and gave both my husband and I blessings by the laying on of hands by those who have authority by God. The blessings were of peace and calming. My husband, along with the other priesthood holders, gave our son a blessing. We are not sure what the future holds but this we do know....we have been blessed with much peace and comfort.
I ran tonight at 11pm. I ran the neighborhood. I went only 22 minutes but it was good. I ran most of it which is surprising and exciting. I had two neighbors look at me funny but that may have been because of the time. I actually enjoyed running it tonight in the dark. It was hard and I was out of breath but it was cool and beautiful. I have heard some say that running helps clear the mind and helps you work through problems. This is NOT the case for me. I really tried but as it turns out I hate running enough that it was all I could do to think about breathing and pushing on. I am proud of myself for going even that late and by myself.
I think it is time to start strength training in a serious manor. I just simply cant run with all this body fat. I have come to hate my body. I feel like it is keeping me from achieving my best. Maybe even on purpose. Bye
4 comments:
So sorry about Blake. I hope all will be ok and will be thinking about you this week.
About the weight. Ben always says it is not healthy to loose weight fast and the everyone is so happy to loose weight super fast. As you may know we went on diets this year and I failed, but Ben is doing great. He has lost 15 lbs in 6 months. That is pretty slow. He says now he just wants to loose 5 more in the next six months and then 10 next year. He exercises almost everyday and he eats super healthy and he is not expecting the weight to fall off like I do. I think he knows that our bodies are not designed to loose weight that fast so take it from him that it is great to loose 2 lbs and don't be so hard on yourself. I know I would be just like you because that is how I was this year when I was trying to loose weight. The worst for me was gaining 10 lbs even though I hadn't had a treat and had been exercising.
Keep it up. I am routing for you and know you can do it. Remember nothing comes fast and you must be patient and remember that you are healthier right now even though the weight hasn't come off. I mean you can run for 20 min. I bet that wasn't possible a month ago. That's awesome! Be proud of those things.
Ok sorry to be so long in my comment. Just want you to know I am thinking of you.
Ditto, everything Laura said. We will keep Blake in our prayers. Being healthy is the ultimate goal and I think it is so amazing what you are trying to do. You are absolutely right that running for you would be harder than it is for someone who is not as heavy and it is very admirable that you keep trying. It's great you have the support of your sisters. I will enjoy watching your progress! Don't give up because we won't give up on you.
Thanks for today!! I'm so glad you are willing to share your experience through your blog. I have always struggled with the will to exercise and this is motivating to me.
Hey I just found your blog and am so excited for you! I bet you are gaining muscle from running too and muscle weighs more than fat so if you factor that in you probably have lost more fat and gained muscle. I always hate scales because they can't show that. Skip the scale and stick with your knowledge that you are still excercising and eating healthy. I know on a diet it is also good to have a special treat every now and then or you will deprive yourself and crash at a breaking point. You are doing awesome! I was motivated to hear you ran with the kids in the stroller... I have a jogging stroller and everything but I just can't seem to get myself out there. You are a better woman than I. I know how it can be to be worried about your kids and we will be praying for your family but I am comforted to read how strong your faith is which means that you will have the strength you need for whatever happens. I think you are amazing!
Post a Comment