Today is my 5k and I am extremely nervous! I went to the store to register for the race and the first guy there was a bit snippy and i thought "oh great, they are looking at the fat girl and thinking she has no business being in our store." So after we got to the right place to sign up a young man came over to help us. He was incredibly nice. Ed is his name and he was smiling and friendly and helpful. He wished me good luck on my first time out and gave me a coupon for the next time I am in the store. i am going to write him and thank him because I was on the verge of a full blown anxiety attack when i went in and his manor and kindness was calming. But I did it! I have my tee shirt and my tag and all the goodies for the race. It is a late starter so i wont be home until late tonight but I have a feeling I will be charged up enough to last until I write. I really was so so so nervous. I was feeling so low and discouraged. I am still nervous for the race because I dont know what to expect. I have no idea the terrain and how comfortable I will be with running with other people. My whole body is screaming out and I am sitting here quiet. Does that make since? Is it hard to think that I am SO out of my element that I dont even want to go? I know I can run 3.1 miles because I do it everyday now. So do I need to prove it by running with people who think I am a joke? they actually put me in a different category because of my weight. I am a "cruiser" because I am over 150lbs. Is that insane??? I may never be that weight, I dont WANT to be that small. Will I always be the fat one? Oh my gosh, I am so nervous!!! What if I am the last one, what if I come in after they have all shut down? What if someone pushes me to get out of the way? Oh, I am so incredibly nervous!
I need to go eat before I pass out.
Bye
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