happy sad and everything in between

So I am very proud of myself. I have worked out every day this week.
Yesterday, Wednesday, I was unable to take Cris to work so I did not have a car. This poses a problem when it comes to getting to my workout spot. So I did what I was not sure I had the strength to do....I worked out here at home. I borrowed some weights from my neighbors and went outside (because it was finally beautiful) and did lunges, squats, sprints, running, jumping jacks and weights. Exactly the workout I would have done at church. I was very proud of myself.
Another development in my life is that I decided to take it one step further (I know ( may be pushing my powers) and I am no longer eating after 8pm. Most people say 7 but most people don't go to bed at 11:30 and midnight. Any way I have been able to do this. Last night I had a little celebration for a friends birthday and we were able to finish dinner before 8pm but the cake (brownie) wasn't eaten until almost 9pm. I made everyone a dish with brownie and ice cream (we even had Reese's ice cream, my favorite) and made one for me. It was at this time that I remembered the promise I had made to myself. But it was so tempting AND what would everyone else think? They might be uncomfortable that I wasn't eating with them. They might think I am trying to send them a message that they shouldn't eat it. All this went through my mind at the exact instant that another person came to the gathering. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gave her my bowl and started putting things away. By the time I was done cleaning up everyone was well into their treat. I just stood around and talked with them. Here is the deal: NO ONE noticed!!!! Seriously, no one paid any attention to the fact that I didnt indulge. I felt FANTASTIC!!!!!! So for almost a week I have been able to eat better AND at the right times. I am so happy with my progress. It really is hard to imagine how hard life was for me a year ago. How difficult it was for me to get out of bed, socialize, smile! Smiling was SO hard. I remember forcing them at the right times in the right places. I was so unhappy, things looked so hopeless. Then I was introduced the marvelous world of pain, torture, heat, sweat-EXERCISE! I may not look any different at this point but I feel different and I am a different person. I may one day look back and have to read these entries to even remember the rough times.
On a very sad note: My wonderful sister Robin, who has been my constant, is no longer able to run. She has an IT Band injury and it has become severe. It is painful for her and I know her heart aches to run again. Hopefully someday with lots of prayer and work she will be able to run. It may well be that she never again experiences the joy of crossing a marathon line. I do know this, ANYTHING she does she wins at! She is a hero to many and goes unrecognized most all the time. If I could take her injury from her I would! I wish and pray for nothing more than her most sincere happiness. She introduced me to this very foreign world and was with me in the worst times (that happened a lot) and in the most intensely gratifying moment of my life. Robin, I love you!!!!!!